Am I a hopeless audio snob?

I'm with you there. They look like a good DJ table but they just don't light my fuse. I don't know if they can play with the big boys or not but my TT has to be good sounding and aesthetically pleasing.

Simple reality, form factor matters. It just does. So not a snob, you just don’t get a “wow” from that setup. No worries. Buy what you like both aesthetically and sonically.

+++ VPI for performance, customer service, aesthetics (cutting edge looks but not ‘over the top’) and made in the U.S.A. I had a HW19MkIII for 20 trouble free years until upgrading to a Classic 3 SE 8 years ago and so far so good, no issues and not expecting any.

VPI is garbage. Any company who would make a turntable with a unipivot arm is in trouble. Any turntable company who would do so without antiskating makes garbage. After they realized their mistake they added it but it was too late, the damage was done. Their more expensive tables are Clearaudio copies and poor designs wasting money on filigree instead of performance.

You want to go with Sota, Basis, SME or Avid. Dohmann if you have the bucks.  

Looks matter.  I have the opposite opinion of Technics.  I have an SL 1200 MK2 (some of the 80's "garbage") and doubt I'll ever get rid of it, mostly because I love the "retro" look.  It's had some minor upgrades, but I think most people would be surprised to hear what it's capable of. 

I haven't heard the new models, but everything I've read about them suggests they are on another level entirely and well worth pursuing, at least in terms of performance.  We all have different likes, and if the aesthetic didn't work for me, it would be a non-starter as well, so that's perfectly understandable.

My main table is a Sota Sapphire, which I think will be a keeper.  I recently had an Acoustic Signature Wow XL and liked that a lot.  It's a rather smallish and compact but high mass table with great speed control.  The Wow XL is an older design, but I think they have tables in your price range.

Before that I had a VPI Classic 2 with a Classic 3 tonearm.  A more imposing table, also a high mass design.  I wasn't crazy about the unipivot.  VPI offers an inexpensive and easy to install dual-pivot option.  One of the things I liked most about the VPI is that it is designed to allow for a periphery ring clamp.  With so many new and used records having warps, that was a great feature.

You might get better suggestions by describing what you like and find appealing.