Audio tip for aging male audiophiles

Frequent viewers on the Audiogon forum have the opportunity to read many, many suggestions on how to improve the sound of their audio systems. As a rule, the suggestions are directed at the general membership. Well, I can't resist starting 2002 with a suggestion for fellow 'philes who are -- how do I put this delicately? -- closing in on their golden years".

One of the best "tweaks" I have found for for improving the sound I hear (as distinct from improving my system) is (trumpet salute...): trimming my ear hair!

If you think that this public suggestion reflects a total lack of good taste, or that references to personal grooming habits are totally inappropriate for such an august forum, please consider: excess ear hair blocks the transmission of high frequencies to the inner ear.

Come on, guys, you all know you've seen gaffers with shrubs sprouting from their ears! If you happen to be an older audiophile with hirsute ears, then try this simple experiment: listen to a recording with good high-frequency content, then trim your ear hair and listen again to the same recording. I'm willing to bet money that you'll quickly hear a difference.

Yes, there's a story behind all this. For Christmas 2000, my wife gave me a "gag" geezer gift: a battery-operated, Conair ear and nose hair trimmer. Initially, I was offended, but when I actually used the trimmer and got rid of the excess ear hair, I noted a distinct improvement in the sound I heard from my audio system. During the past year, the trimmer has become a regular part of "tuning" my personal audio system.

So, a word to my fellow, older audiophiles: lose that ear hair and hear what you've been missing. It may be the best, low-cost "upgrade" you can make to your system at this point in life!
Don't forget to remove your glasses for serious listening. They are hard, reflective surfaces right near your ears. Try it - you will be surprized. Old Don
Detlof, I've had a similar experience, and have found that in addition to low end definition, extension seems to be improved.
1) I have installed a pair of NOS ears to replace my original stock. After biasing myself, I now enjoy better frequency response and my midriff bloom is much less noticeable.

2) My 4 Ohm children have twice the impedance of my 8 Ohm children, as it is much easier to wire 8 Ohm children directly to a Nintendo when you want to listen without interruption, whereas the 4 Ohm kids seem to have a fascination with pushing in the cones on my speakers while I'm listening to them.

3) Surround sound makes more sense as your hearing deteriorates: you're bound to be able at least 2 of the 5 speakers at any given time.

4) Make sure your vintage gear is in another room when you want to do serious listening. My vintage gear insists on walking in during a listening session to watch Sex and the City, in the hope that she can identify with Mark Levinson's well-kept vintage gear that struts her stuff on that show. (You may also notice increased Wow and Flutter when your vintage gear watches shows such as this.)

5) Britney Spears, N’SYNC and Boyz II Men are thankfully not available on MFSL Vinyl or SACD -- your gear is in safe from pre-teen hands for now.

6) Understand that it is difficult to install a turntable in your Cadillac, Lincoln or SUV, but this might explain why old folks drive so slowly.

7) Be sure to acoustically treat your bald spots. All toupees should be sonically inert.

8) You were born before what classical composer?

9) If your system is too harsh and you suffer from digital edge, mix two parts soda with one part scotch. Great for reducing jitter.

10) Some audiophiles have rediscovered their previously lost high end by taking Viagra. Viagra can really help your vintage equipment perform like it did twenty years ago.

Yes, Marakanetz, but I will sell it only with the accessory mentioned above in my post. It will do everything Mes and I have mentioned to your system if properly applied.