Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?

I used to try a lot of the tricks mentioned above, but got to the point I just told my wife it was my hobby, etc., & that I was going to change stuff here & there. We've been together 20+ years (14 married) and my wife just doesn't care about anything to do with the system as long as it doesn't occupy too much space & I'm able to meet all my financial obligations. My job used to keep me away from the house for weeks at a time, so now that I come home every night, maybe it's a little unspoken gesture on her part not to say anything except the occasional "turn it down." BTW, it was my choice to take the job that kept me away & conversely my choice to give it up & spend more time at home. Having a solid marriage helps.

My wife is pretty cool about it. We been together for 28 years and she knew from day one, how important music is to me. I used to volunteer for Rock Medicine and took her to a lot of shows where we would hang out backstage and meet many of our favorite rock stars. A few years ago, I was faced with a life threatening illness and spent the year on heavy meds which made me feel more sick than the disease itself. Music was my salvation and therapy (even with a satellite dish, most of the stuff on TV sucks). I began to upgrade all my equipment during that time. I went to a home theater set-up which didn't impress me. So I returned to stereo and began the hobby of buying and selling gear in search of audio nirvana. I save my mileage and per diem checks. They add up very quickly as I direct two statewide pubic health projects in California and therefore travel a lot. So I never spend money out of our account or dip into our budget. Her only complaint is how loud the music is when she comes home from work. In which case I lower it and say: "I'm sorry, what did you say, I couldn't hear you?"

Honesty is indeed the best policy, but marraige involves compromise. The dollars should be within your means, but if she has an expensive clothes or jewelry habit, you're golden. To make the spending more acceptable, all new components become "gifts": birthday, anniversary, or Christmas. Hopefully you don't need more than three things each year.

Aesthetics are another matter. In my case, she vetoed the speakers I wanted for the living room because they were "too big," so I explained that to get sound that good from a smaller speaker would be more expensive. She said "fine" as long as she liked the way they looked. On the electronics side, she insists that I keep all gear out of sight in an old built-in cabinet. Space is limited and the turntable eats up a big chunk (for dust-cover clearance). Tubes seem out even though I would love to try them(no ventilation, except for the open cabinet doors). So I have stayed with SS gear. hmmm...could I get away with a tube preamp? Anyway, if you love each other, you can find a way to make it work.

Hi, upgrade you girlfriend, (or wife)! from Italy, diver (P.S. it's a joke, my wife loves hi-end too!

David99: Very funny and I had forgotten about the old laundromat ploy. Just make sure that you throw all the clothes (light and dark) in together on cold wash. This will get their attention more than anything else. I also used to wear a brown cartegan sweater with the buttons sewn on poorly with light blue thread (this worked like a charm as well).