How do you know what you're missing?

Without listening to better systems than your own, how do you go about targeting what to improve? How do you know what is possible? It's a case of you don't know what you don't know. I get that indistinguishable from live is the definition of high fidelity, but I don't see that as a realistic aspiration without a dedicated built to spec room and a few orders of magnitude more expensive gear.

Reading reviews or forums can't possibly educate as well as demonstration. "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture," applies to the hardware as well as the media. I've isolated myself for many years prior to current circumstances. I can't remember the last time I actually went and listened to someone else's system. For that matter it's been years since I heard live music, too. (I don't count serenading the cat at home.)

Is it a case of you'll know it when you see it? Is this not a common problem? Or do you just not know it is a problem?