How many audiophiles to screw in a light bulb?

This occured to me as an addendum to the current "Wacko" thread:

How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to tell all the others that they should be using HIS light bulb, which blows away all the competition. Worth fifteen times the price he paid, the light caused him to deposit his jaw somewhere in the room where he first witnessed the light of this amazing bulb. He also requests if anyone should find his jaw that he would be grateful for its prompt return as he hasn't been able to eat any solid food ever since.

Three to argue about bulb's placement in the room for maximum light dispersion.

Six to insist that the bulb would render superior light if powered by the Phallic Serpent $2500 power cord.

Two to insist that light bulbs are old technology and introduce distortion into the spectrum of light.

Four to declare that a light bulb is no substitute for "real" light, and to greater appreciate the light the bulb provides one must also go out and absorb as much "real" light as possible.

Three to ask why there are so many used light bulbs on the market.

Two to suggest a power regenerator may stabilize the bulb's output and provide for greater enjoyment of the light eminating from it.

Twelve to argue the chain of hierarchy in delivery of the optimum output of light from the bulb.

One to design a custom stabilizing harness for the bulb, fabricated from polished steel and burled Bubinga wood to assure the bulb will be held in place and be immune to all vibrations.... in great style. Filled with lead shot, of course.

Four to suggest doing several A/B/A comparisons of different bulbs before deciding upon one.

Six to quote the recent bulb shootout in The Absolute Light that declared that Home Depot bulbs are every bit as good as NOS GE bulbs.

Three to decry that it's all snake oil, and point out that the rest of the bunch are all whackos and the world is coming to an end anyway.

OK, I'm sure some of you can come up with a few more....


And then there will always be a few folks who won't know what a light bulb is, what it does, or at a mininum how you to define the term before they can get into a dissussion about how to use it. Some of us just have dimmer bulbs than others. :-)
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vote taken regarding how many foot pounds of torque each bulb was screwed into the socket with lit the best?
research and development costed a bundle for the special bulb torque wrench alone. there was a almost unanimous vote until someone suggested using Walker sst on the socket which required testing to resume.
You guys have it all wrong, a simple silver coating will enhance the output of a el cheapo light bulb that competes for one tenth the cost of all of the above higher priced models and make things so bright! Special applicator provided of course and if you act right now, they will throw in an extra ounce of the maigc stuff! You can acutally hear the difference!!!

Gotta go and change my sub-pannel now.

Happy Listening.
Three to suggest that your bulb have a balanced, silver connection on it.

Three more to suggest that balanced light bulb connections only matter if you're running the light more than 30 feet.