Losing out

From a buyer's perspective (you) we AGONers are sympathetic to you for a missed opportunity.....BUT.... It is tempered with certain limits that must include the seller's position.

Disappointing to you for sure but..... and it is a big "but".... Your post does not explain why the delay in your non-guaranteed buy commitment until later in the day.

 It may have been a noble reason for you, but frankly, it matters little to seller without a refundable deposit from you to "seal the deal " and hold it for you. That deposit , say instant through PayPal, would automatically predicate seller to contact  you FIRST after a a new competing offer for immediate full payment or "sayonara". 

 A refundable deposit to hold means something in an  audio form member honor system. Many of us as sellers have been burned by a buyer who first promises the world with enthusiasm and even informally asks for concessions; but then he inexplicably craps out and fails to complete the deal after a lengthy time-wasting dialogue exercise. Once it happens to you, it's likely the very last time that, as seller, you will expose yourself again to that piss-off from anybody. 

In simple words, first come with the cash = first  served... Full stop.

From a seller's perspective, I cannot criticize  any seller's viewpoint that "in God we trust, everybody else pays cash!". Those rules are clearly understood, full stop again. A refundable deposit from you - even a nominal $100 - would support a "hold". Without it, I would not "hold" it for a stranger either.

Seller is not your friend, he doesn't know you, don't expect seller to care about you past selling his kit, because  this is just a simple bulletin board for HIS QUICKEST completed sale for the best offer.

akg_ca561 posts03-05-2016 9:47amFrom a buyer's perspective (you) we AGONers are sympathetic to you for a missed opportunity.....BUT.... It is tempered with certain limits that must include the seller's position. 

Disappointing to you for sure but..... and it is a big "but"....

+1

Should take EBM's advice ... Jump at it NOW!!!!!!!  Buy it ASAP!!!!!  Do not pass Go!!!!!! Do not collect $200!!!!!  What a MARON!!!!!!!

I get it.  BUT, I said I would let him know before day's end.  I did and placed the offer at our agreed price before time ran out.  Why the delay?  I was struggling with a nasty, nasty cold and was communicating at work between appointments.  Stated he would hear by EOD.  Placed the offer that evening.  He usually responded quickly to messages.  Not this time.  If an offer came in, a courtesy chance to match or better it would have been nice.  Didn't happen.  That simple action could/should have been done. Plain and simple.  Our convo's involved solid questions and exchanges. I wasn't dicking around.  Finally heard back 14 HOURS  later that someone swooped in.  14 hours and he couldn't send a heads up.  I probably would have matched or bettered the swooper.  But he stated "it wasn't about the money"

  Yes, they aren't your "friend" but I deal daily with clients who aren't friends but at the end of the day I rest peacefully knowing that I treated them all fairly.  Doing the right thing can get you burned on occasion but it NEVER stops me from doing it again.  That's just the way I roll.  "Treat others as you want to be treated".  That slowly helps to make the world a better place. 

Life goes on.

Drpat, I see absolutely NO reason why you needed to wait until the end of the day to make a decision other than to mull over whether or not you wanted to make the deal or not. Why should the seller feel obligated to such uncertainty, on a promise that you will let him know? I wonder how many times a dealer hears that. I am no dealer but I’ve heard it many times, this is not uncommon. There is a difference between promise and commitment and it has nothing to do with being treated fairly. I’m sorry but your analogy to your clients is completely different. You DO have a business relationship with them and therefore an obligation, in this case there is no obligation on either side.

Let’s look at this deal from the seller’s perspective. Yes, you had good communication and yes, you promise that you will let him know one way or another by EOD. But before EOD a solid offer arrives. Should the seller tell the committed buyer at that point to hold on until "I receive word back from a guy that "promised" me he would get back to me by the end of the day. Seriously? This is business and it happens everyday The seller is a businessman and absolutely did not act in bad faith. He just acted in a manner that is probably quite routine to him on a daily basis. I think if your position is "I treat my clients fairly" and by inference the seller did NOT treat you fairly is in itself naive and unreasonable. A commitment will trump a promise with anyone that is in business and used to dealing with a fickle public, particularly audiophiles :), lesson learned should be, don’t hesitate on your first instinct!