Should we have an Audiophiles Anonymous

Alcoholics, gamblers, drug useres, why not us?. You've heard it expressed often enough, audiophiles have a sickness, well lets do something about it. I'm a physician and let me tell you, the signs are all there, the constant anxiety and self doubt, the sweats before the next purchase, the all too brief relief of symptoms with each new hit, shorter each time. All unmistakable to the trained eye, the promises to the wife, the pitiful attempts to hide a new purchase, the tears and recriminations when you're found out and brother are you always found out. How do women always now?
We need help, we deserve help, all we need is a program and here is the clincher, I'm sure there will be Federal funding in it, think of the system you could buy with that. No we must'nt weaken, it's been 10 days since my last purchase and that was only a little phono stage, hardly anything really, it does'nt really count, does it?
years ago i quit drinking,,,then started using drugs and ended up addicted to pain killers and heroin,,after a couple years of being clean i started buying audio equiptment,,just another addiction?maybe ,but i sure get a lot of joy,and no pain,,,from music played on a good system!!
Viridian described my condition of the last few years, and luckily, without realizing it I got sober on my own. I went to the Shirley Horn Clinic.
Well, as a fellow physician, I must agree to some of it….

Let me help with the 12 steps..

1) Admit you have a stereo
2) Admit you will never be happy until you own X
3) You will only be happy once you buy X… for a little while
4) Buy X when you can, not when you want
5) Audio anonymous has no corporate affiliation, and promotes no audio gear
6) Members of AA must only use usernames, no passwords.
7) You always will want better, so buy it when you can (or when the wife lets you)
8) You always will have a friend with a better stereo… don’t’ sweat it
9) All stereos do play music, so learn to deal with what you have
10) All music lovers appreciate music over systems
11) I’m running really light here, so I won’t even try on this one
12) Never let your friends/acquaintances let you listen to their system when it is clearly superior to yours

OK, obviously this was done as a spoof. I hope none of my friends or anyone else in a 12 step program feels offended, as I really didn’t try to do that.

Ken and Lola
Please be careful about spreading this spurious notion that audiophilia is an addiction, or worse yet a disease. I have managed to convince my wife that I suffer from a disability, and I am currently in the process of filing a claim for benefits under the Americans With Disabilities Act. My audio disability prevents me from securing meaningful employment (one can't work AND listen to your audio system 12-14 hours a day), so I believe I am entitled to federal assistance.