Store auditioning and then buying on-line from others. How do you feel about it ?

That said, my recent bought of speaker auditioning brought up an ethical question:

How committed should I feel to a dealer who gives a crappy audition experience???

I had a couple that left a bad taste in my mouth. In one case I was auditioning Audio Note speakers at the only AN dealer around. The speakers were in a small room and the salesman was one of those
"too much chat" and "stand behind you while you listen" types. I can't stand that, couldn't relax to see if I could get into the sound, and I very politely said "I'm actually fine on my own here, if I could just listen a while." That seemed to slightly chuff the salesman who left, closing the door fairly strongly. Within a minute the store owner came in - clearly having been told by the salesmen that I'd asked to listen on my own - and defiantly pulled up a chair and sat down near me, arms crossed. As in "sorry buddy, this is our store and no one tells us what to do." And he began to chat.

Even if I liked the speaker, they lost a sale for that ridiculous attitude.
Now IF I'd liked the speaker....how committed should I feel to buying from salesmen who acted like that?

I had a similar, though not quite as bad experience when I auditioned another brand of speakers I was interested in.  It was a fairly large store, staffed by younger guys who seemed limited in their knowledge and experience.  Basically I was contemplating buying a $10,000 pair of speakers in a certain finish (ebony). I deliberately took time off work to show up mid-week, afternoon, at a time I knew the store would be quiet.
I was the only one there, with 3 bored salesmen.  And a lot of "let me operate the CD player and tracks for you" stuff, like I couldn't be trusted to even do that without a salesman watching me.   After only about 25 minutes the salesman started the "ok, times up, what did you think?" patter.  It wasn't nearly enough time to make a decision about that much money.  It's not like people were lining up to take up their time.  I was the only customer there and they clearly had nothing else to do.

Once again, left with a very bad taste in my mouth, not wanting to go back there.   Though if I'd loved the speakers, I would have bought them from the store.

But I decided the speakers probably weren't for me anyway.

But...months later I encountered that brand again at some length at an audio show and it re-ignited my interest in the speakers. And when I was doing one of my casual looks through the audio marts, not looking for anything specific, I spotted a pair at a ridiculous steal of a price.   But in the wrong finish.

So what was I to do? I didn't care for the way the speaker store rushed the audition process, yet maybe I would like the speakers after a longer listen. My compromise was this: I knew if I bought the second hand pair I could very easily re-sell them. So I grabbed them as a form of my own in-home audition.   If I liked them and they sounded good in my room, I would sell them and buy a brand new pair in the finish I really want from the store. That was frankly the only way the store had a chance for a sale anyway, since my store audition hadn't sold me on the speaker.

Turns out I didn't care for the speaker and quickly re-sold it.   And holy cow I'm glad I didn't buy it after that rushed audition at the store!

That's the closest I've ever come to breaking my code of listening at a store and buying used. But all things considered, it struck me as a fair way to give the store a shot at my buying a speaker from that store, despite not liking the store experience.

So, after purchasing $5,800 in amps from this unnamed Good High End dealer in Waltham, Mass, I ask to hear a couple of speakers.  Set up the demo a week ahead of time.  Listened to the speakers, which happened to be Magico 3 MK2, which I thought were completely lacking in bass. When I ask the guy about the lack of bass, he's dumbfounded and starts with "so where do you want to go?"  After leaving the store and looking around some and discovering another brand will come closer to my needs, I shop a couple of stores and then go back to the Good High End store in Waltham.  The imbecile store manager tells me  "Wow, that's a great deal; you should buy them there..."  So, where do you think I am going to buy them... and with a very clean conscience?  You got it; Virginia or Nebraska.

I consider it wrong to use a local dealer to audition audio equipment with no intention of buying it from that store. It is selfish and exudes the bad neighbor syndrome of believing others in life are present for your personal entertainment/education. But negotiating price with a local dealer based on what other dealers will sell the equipment for is acting responsibly with a budget. If the local dealer wants the sale they will do their best to get close on the price offered by their competitors; if they don't want to cut their margins, then they will refuse to sell to a willing buyer seeking a fair deal. That is the local dealer saying no to an interested buyer, not the customer wrongly using the local dealer. And it should be noted that "local" has a much different meaning today with dealers that will ship product to you and allow you to try it risk free for a given time period. I have bought new from a local dealer-- and new from a less than local dealer. I have refused to do business with dealers who want to misrepresent where the transaction occurred or offer to sell me "new" stuff that requires me to lie and say I live outside another dealer's territory. Also, I have received good advice and service from non-local dealers who respond quickly to email, answer their phones, follow up with manufacturers to address concerns and have adjusted to the shrinking world the internet has created. 

I personally never quibble about price if I'm buying from a local audio dealer.  If I'm buying new, so long as I know I'm just not getting shafted on the price, I'm not going to haggle.  It's my feeling that running a high end audio store is difficult enough - it's not like tons of people get rich off of it.  And every sale counts.  So I don't want to skimp and take money out of the very profit the dealer needs to run his shop.

Prof- with respect to your hypothetical about whether you are ethically bound to purchase a product from the B&M store when you liked the product but not the audition experience, I'd say no.  When you buy B&M, a portion of the "value" you get in exchange for the higher price you pay includes customer service.  If the service (e.g., the way you were treated) is poor before the sale, imagine how it will be AFTER they have already have your $!  Your decision process w respect to the A/N's was way more than that store deserved, IMO.  In that case, they did not earn your business.  If I ever got treated that way, you can bet I'd never be back.