The finest Cable Elevators you ever auditioned?

Please share your listening experiences! I am especially interested in back to back comparisons. Perhaps you have gathered your audiophile friends around for a double blind shoot out? Would appreciate your guidance on how much of you budget should be devoted to cable elevators. Is there something out there under $1000 that really is a giant killer? Any truth in elevator directionality making a big difference?
Ha, ha, ha, ha!! ROTFLMAO! I've had a very good laugh at all your posts. Thanx for the levity. And, good to see that the original poster Mike60 was a good sport & joined in the fun (rather than being pissed off that his post took a silly turn).
some very innovative posts from you people..... :-D
"They already have dozens of preorders from the Saud Royal Family."

IF only people realized how more likely something like this actually is than they could probably ever imagine!

While the rest of their countryman are mostly using toilet paper rolls....
To the first timers to this forum. These are just good clean jokes. Please don't take it the wrong way. We aren't really that crazy.
The auditioning of cable elevators and de-elevators in isolation (pardon the pun) is really only half the story.

The effects of elevation on most cables which are not designed to be levitated, tend to have their frequency response altered. There is a formula. mass x height + atomic weight - price = frequency response.

Now to get around this problem cable regulators must be used in conjunction with the elevators/de-elevators to make sure the cables ability to transfer the correct balanced frequency throughout your system is properly optimised. Think of it as "room correction" for elevated cables.

There is only one problem with the regulators and this is their size. To regulate within reasonable tolerance, the regulators must clamp onto the existing cable. But at 6 foot wide and 4 foot high, connection can be tricky. They are also quite heavy, which can lead to elevation collapse.

If you need to ask the price for these audio gems you cannot afford them and you will spend your whole audio life in despair.

If you think cable elevation changed your life wait until you hear cable regulation combined with elevation and de-elevation. Your ears will thank you but your wallet won't.