russmaleartist,
Exactly, your description of what a good sub or subs integration should do and sound like, and not sound like, is just as my expectations. On my bass system, the subs are completely silent as long as there 's no music or ht content that calls for any reproduction of frequencies at or below 40Hz. They're like an elite group of very stealthy and extremely capable bass soldiers that never give away their presence but are constantly alert, awaiting the agreed upon signals being sent before instantly springing into coordinated action, precisely performing actions with the proper application of force necessary to accomplish the mission, before returning to stealthy but alert silence once again and awaiting their next call to action. How's that for hyperbolic but accurate fun?
I believe a good sub system is not meant to be constantly heard but just when the content calls for it. In my experience, attaining this quality requires playing a wide variety of content and fine tuning the crossover frequency to be as low as possible but not low enough to prevent their contribution when needed. I've come to the conclusion that it's really just a balancing act with the best hoped for outcome actually being more of an approximation. But it's also true that a good cutoff frequency setting approximation will be perceived as seamless integration with my main speakers 90% of the time.
Conversely, setting the crossover frequency too high on a sub or sub system, imo, could be the most common and detrimental mistake many individuals make with their systems. This only results in the subs being constantly heard and a perception of the bass being disjointed and not well integrated with the main speakers.
What particular crossover frequency is considered 'too high' is subjective but I think most people will know it when they hear it.
I'll just state that, if you're constantly aware of a sub's or sub system's contribution, the crossover is definitely set too high.
Tim