You might be an audiophile if...

With apologies to Mr. Jeff Foxworthy, thought it would be fun to come up with (clean) examples of the wretched excesses that us poor audiophiles are subject to. I'll start it off. Extra points for originality and wit.

You might be an audiophile if your stereo costs more than your car. Or your house.

You might be an audiophile if - you've ever had to choose between a girlfriend and a new pair of speakers.
kinsekd overhear some clods at a bar talking about a "3-way", and you think they're discussing a type of dynamic loudspeaker design.
The bill collectors start calling.
That damn $$$ cable was such a good price, oh yeah.
You travel 2,500 miles across the country to see to see your significant other's family and within 5 minutes of arrival you're talking to your brother in law about tube vs transistor power amps.
The only contested item in your divorce was the stereo system. And you agreed to buy a new one for the wife, Because she wouldnt trust anyone else.