1st time buyer: Paradigm vs Revel vs B&W vs ?

Add NHT to the list. The classic 3's are excellent bookshelf's. The Classic 4 and absolute tower are excellent towers. I recently purchased and the b10-d sub and also really enjoy it.

All sound so different. My tastes run B&W 8XX series. The little 805's are a steal and will eventually migrate into your main system! Those must be on a factory stand to work right!

My B&W 805s have been in and out of my main system (with a sub). I think with B&W stands they are tough to beat for flexibility, stereo staging, and the ability to play really, really loud! Plus, they look very nice and non obtrusive in almost any decor, if that matters.

The other consideration will be placement in your room. Whatever you buy will ahve the potentail to satisfy you, but also disappoint depending on your room placement restrictions. Jammed in a corner against walls = bad, pulled out somewhat into the room (to varying degrees) = good - as a general rule. Be sure that as you listen, you at least notice the positioning of the speakers in relation to others you audition. If at all possible, position what you listen to in close approximation to how they'll be in your room. The room is an important factor in what you buy. hardwood or carpet? sparse furniture or heavy 'overstuffed' couches, things like that. At least one sub is a must for movies. You can get by without for a while, but once you do buy one and set it up right you'll wonder how you did without.
I personally believe any of the speakers you've mentioned could prove very satisfying. I'm new on this journey as well, and have learned that electronics can bring out the best in speakers (or hinder them), and to be blunt, I'm not sure it'll matter much which of the ones you've listened to you buy, I think you'll be happy. Those of us reading your posts have our opinions based on our tastes and experience, and we're happy to share (I like PSB's, B&W, Focal, and Vandersteens too), but the setup in your room, and the associated electronics will be a big factor. If you have little experience, as you say, ignorance might be bliss to a degree - I keep listening to more and more speakers as I contemplate my upgrade, and keep hearing new nuances as I go up the price scale. I agree with those suggesting buying from your dealer to support him. He may be willing to agree a home trial (some do, some don't, some reserve that for 5-figure purchases), as that's the final arbiter of the sound - how they sound TO YOU in YOUR room, with your wife looking at them.