@viridian: I recognized your post as tongue-in-cheek, and appreciated the levity .
Just for the record (ha), your original pressing of Kind Of Blue contains one LP side cut with the tempo and pitch of the instruments different from what the musicians were actually playing. During mastering of the album for Classic Records back in the late-90’s, Bernie Grundman discovered the fact that on one day of the 2-day recording sessions for the album, the tape recorder was running at a slightly incorrect speed. All previous pressings (prior to the Classic Records issue) had the songs on one side of the LP playing at a wrong tempo and musical pitch. It’s amazing no one had previously noticed!