If that don't beat all... and here all the while I thought 'sponge' cake the real deal. Fruit cake does make sense though. I'd go with one laden with plenty of alcohol and without raisins. Removing the raisins and/or dates will improve one's efforts to detect the, by now, inebriated ants and roaches. Eradicating them will also be inherently improved as the now festive' creatures will be quite slow and deliberate in their meanderings. Easy prey to be sure.
One word of caution remains. Be advised to not fall victim to the 'designated decoy bug'. Usually chosen by lots, the 'DDB' will be the most noticeable of them all. ON the whole, usually the fattest, rudest, given to poor hygene, yet fleet of feet, and quite intelligent but possessing chronic poor luck. Often given to boasting of his elusive abilities, and other personal views he oft times shares with or without invite. He will make a spectacle of himself by uttering sharp profanities curt asides, and keen sarcasms to divert attention from his tribe. it almost always works too. Slow, deliberate yet able to dart away at warp spped when set upon... the designated decoy bug is the first line of defense for it's fellows.
Beware! It is also known to spit, bite, puke, and become most flagelant when pressed. Saving the wrapping paper from the cake is best suited to end the distracting pests formidable charade. Apart from the always effective rum soaked wrapping paper over handed swat, my personal favorite technique for eradication is the vastly more exciteing, and certainly more stealthy use of the Daisy BB gun. Holding an enormous amount of ammo, it cocks and fires quickly, has good range and possessesg significant knock down power. This somewhat more eclectic technique provides for a far more involving, exciting and rewarding experience. The BB impacts upon the partying herd as they are picked off one by one, may well alert the pack eventually, depending upon the amount of alcohol used in the original recipe. Rapid fire is recommended. Scope and silencer are optional, along with ones favorite debugging tracks.
Providing even more spectacle, and greatly more disturbing to the unwanted infestation, Paint ball guns are also quite effective. These are however, reserved for only the most expressive, and artistically gifted, or color challenged individuals. Color co-ordination in choice of ammo is widely optional. Many do find earth tones quite the thing im making a statement in design, as well as one in defense of ones domicile. Be advised some will see it as something quite different, Usually these not in the know unsophisticates are spouses, neighbors, and landlords.
Proper timing and placement of the undesired baked goods can and does provide for many such episodes of stress reduction, and entertainment. Thank god and grandma for fruitcakes
. Lock & load, and by all means, Keep em coming.
