You don't necessarily think that if the Emotiva was running to a tube preamp instead of Sony's SS it would help reduce the sharpness of the music?Don't know. Depending on the particular tube preamp it might help somewhat, or it might turn out to just be more revealing of the shortcomings of the DAC.
In any event, if it is a matter of choosing which of the three components to upgrade, IMO it would make sense to upgrade the one that is the root cause of the problem, which appears to be the DAC.
If you are perceiving objectionable and similar sound quality with and without the preamp section of the Sony receiver in the signal path, it says that the preamp section is not the weak link in your system, and is not the primary contributor to the thinness and harshness you appear to be describing. If the tube preamp you were to choose were to largely resolve the problem, it would most likely mean that it is introducing colorations and inaccuracies that are complementary to those of the DAC.
In the near term, that would probably not produce as good a result as replacing the component that is the root cause of the problem. In the long term, if you were to eventually upgrade the DAC you would then be using it with a preamp that is complementing colorations and inaccuracies that are no longer there.
Finally, my impression is that good quality DAC's can be had these days at significantly lower prices than most good quality tube preamps.
IMO. Hope that helps. Regards,
-- Al