Jokes of and about audiophiles

This is the truth. My Grandfather was visiting and looking at my CD collection, of course he had to ask what they were. My answer of CD only ment one thing to him, Certificate of Deposite, I had to explain what they were. As he looked at how many there were he then asked how much each one cost. His reply was "..boy, for that much money you could of had a " CD " ".

How many double-blinders does it take to change a lightbulb?

None -- they can never achieve a 95% confidence level that the bulb is dead.

A friend of mine explaining to his wife why the amps have to stay on all the time, when the electric bill arrives the first time after he installs his Class A 200W mono blocks:

"Honey, I'm telling you, listening to my system is just like taking a shower... When you turn the shower on, cold water comes out, if you immediately step in, well, it is unpleasant. It needs time to warm up. Just because water comes out, does not mean it's a great shower. It'ls like that with my amplifier, of course music comes out right after you turn it on, but it is not great music. It takes time for it to warm up and sound right."

To which his wife replies with a straight face:

"Ahh... Got it. So we should run the shower 24 hours a day?"

A tube-head goes to buy a new car. He goes to the dealership and asks for a 30 day test-drive. He then takes that car to all the places he normally goes, at all times of day, making sure to bring along all the people he would normally carry. He takes obsessive notes while doing this. He drives the same road about 50 times during the 30 day trial. This process is repeated for about 10 different cars.

When he finally buys the car and takes it home, the first thing he does is change the oil. Not happy with the result, he will buy a different brand of oil and change it again. Of course, the same roads are tried after each oil change, again making obsessive notes. His friends are divided in two groups; those that cannot get enough of the oil stories, recommending ever more expensive and hard to get brands of oil, and those that are now starting to avoid him. After about 6 months, he settles on a motor oil that is very hard to get and costs about 1/3rd of the price of the car, but it sure makes it run much better.

And every saturday morning, his spouse just wants to get the groceries. She gets in the car, so does he. He starts, frives out of the driveway, and proudly asks as they get to the grocery store: "Well, what do you think?" meaning of course the improved smoothness with the new oil and all, to which she responds "It sure is busy this saturday morning."

To make up for this, he takes his friends out on saturday afternoon, to drive down the same piece of road he has driven down 50 times before...

Favorite birthday gift for an audiophile that does not have a turnrable: An LP. You will know the boys from the men quickly; the boys will complain they do not have a turntable. The men will proudly inform you they will get a second mortgage shortly to be able to buy the new set to play this beauty...