fleschler,
I agree with nearly everything you said, but differ only about very close rows. Like you, as a performer, there is nothing like stage sound for detail, direct immediacy. Using that criteria, only the 1st row is the next best thing to the stage. Even the 2nd row is veiled by comparison. Another reason is the absorption of sound from anyone sitting in front of you. If I were a sitting giraffe with my head way over people, then the 2nd row might be nice.
At the last concert I attended, I was sitting in the 1st row center. The first piece was a piano concerto. The orchestra was moved back, with the 1st violins and cello section at an equivalent 3rd row distance. The next piece was pure orchestra, with the 1st violins and cello section moved forward to the usual 1st row distance. There was a tremendous increase in detail from violins and cellos. Many audiophiles change cables and find worthwhile differences, but the difference in direct brilliance between rows 1 and 3 is orders of magnitude greater. That's why I can't stand the loss of brilliance further back than row 1, despite the visual advantage of greater distances.
I did some recordings. My best work was with small ensembles on a shallow stage where my close mike placement could still yield good balances. Even my cardioid Neumann KM 184 mikes picked up enough ambience to let the sound breathe. I realized that why I disliked many commercial recordings was because of the addition of distant mikes to pick up more ambience. I found that this excessive ambience mixed with the close mikes was responsible for smearing of details.
Yes, performance first, sound second. I would rather listen to 1928 recordings of legendary violin masters like Fritz Kreisler on youtube, than today's violinists in pristine sound.