Perhaps you should buy a tonearm with hydraulic action lifting and lowering...as all my six arms have?
No human can lower the cartridge more gently that these.... :-)
Halcro,
Perhaps I wasn't clear in my post. I actually do have a tonearm with a dampened lowering mechanism (VPI JMW-Classic), but the cartridge still has a distance to travel once it's released. If you simply flip the lever (as I have seen some audiophiles do it regularly), the stylus will still hit the record surface with some force, albeit weaker, IMO too hard to ignore and repeat with every flip of the record. I release the mechanism very close to the record to minimize the strain on the suspension. I thought every audiophile adhered to this practice with lowering mechanisms.