My wife has the same problem. I stay under 75dbs when she’s around. We are looking at getting her some hearing aids to help with the Tinnitus.
All the best.
yeah, I have tinnitus as well. I bought Wharfedale Lintons and class A amps, smart cabling and limited the volumes, really helped. Then I moved to new house with a lot bigger room. Now, I have McIntosh MA 8950 Integrated and Polk Audio R700s, I settled on this combo because it works, doesn't aggravate my tinnitus. I find myself getting away with higher volumes with this combo.
Coming from a newbie, as I read your post, your descriptions are somewhat similar to what I had experienced. with my KEF speakers(Though not as nice as an r7) I could not turn the dial past 45 without after 30 minutes having to turn the music off. my solution was to get a case(12) of 703 Owens Corning, rigid fiberglass panels, Joanne fabrics, colored burlap, and fir strips to frame. Placed them strategically around the room. Now I regularly start my listening at 55 and on really good recordings will push it to 65 and listen for as long as I care too. If you have WAF issues professional panels can be purchased at sites like GIK Acoustics. Hope your Listening will once again, be enjoyable.
a) Never point a concentric driver directly at away. Toe it away 15 to 20 deg.
b) If a) wasn’t sufficient, get a Schiit Lokius EQ and start cranking the high bands down.
It is also a wise idea to absorb/place absorptive panels on the ipsilateral/contralateral reflection points.