The ground wire coming from the TT and the tonearm cable's RFI shield are both unrelated to forming a balanced input to the phono stage. The signal from the cartridge is just two wires per channel coil. These two wires can be connected to pins 2 & 3 of an XLR connector, or to RCA hot & shield. The RFI shield in the tonearm cable is mapped to XLR pin 1(acting as a drain to ground), or soldered to one of the cartridge's signal wires connected to RCA shield.
If the first gain stage of your phono section is true balanced, you should use an XLR input. Not all phono stages with XLR inputs are true balanced all the way through. If not true balanced in the first gain stage, then it doesn't matter whether XLR or RCA inputs are used. In fact it could be argued that the reduced metal mass in some nice RCA connectors like the Eichmann or Tiffany might favor RCA over XLR input for phono stages that are not balanced all the way through.
However, some phono stages not balanced all the way through have true-balanced output sections. In this case you will benefit going XLR from phono to pre.
Using an RCA-to-XLR converter plug to adapt an RCA phono cable to an XLR input will incorrectly map the inverted signal carried on RCA shield of the tonearm cable to XLR pin 1 of the phono section. When running balanced you need either to reterminate the RCA tonearm cable or get a new cable.
If the first gain stage of your phono section is true balanced, you should use an XLR input. Not all phono stages with XLR inputs are true balanced all the way through. If not true balanced in the first gain stage, then it doesn't matter whether XLR or RCA inputs are used. In fact it could be argued that the reduced metal mass in some nice RCA connectors like the Eichmann or Tiffany might favor RCA over XLR input for phono stages that are not balanced all the way through.
However, some phono stages not balanced all the way through have true-balanced output sections. In this case you will benefit going XLR from phono to pre.
Using an RCA-to-XLR converter plug to adapt an RCA phono cable to an XLR input will incorrectly map the inverted signal carried on RCA shield of the tonearm cable to XLR pin 1 of the phono section. When running balanced you need either to reterminate the RCA tonearm cable or get a new cable.