I sense from your post that you are what one company calls: the "discriminating non-enthusiast". In other words, you appreciate and expect quality, but you're not interested in the technical side of things. In other words, you like driving a Porsche, but you have no interest in becoming a mechanic.
This is an excellent site but you can quickly become overwhelmed by the information and differences of opinion unless you spend a bit of time informing yourself. I do not know if you are interested or have the time for this.
This does not mean you cannot receive some excellent advice here, and I would encourage you to continue to solicit opinions. However, I will make a few additional suggestions and perhaps take a few liberties with your original request pending further information or clarification from yourself.
You should visit stores that sell high-end equipment and provide custom installation in your area. And you should visit more than one as they do not all carry the same brands. The value added service that they can offer relative to the big box stores, in addition to higher quality equipment, is to provide you with the kind of comprehensive, knowledgeable advice and recommendations that you are seeking. And let there be no doubt in your mind: for the type of money you're talking about, they will walk on their hands and knees on broken glass to serve you. If one particular store doesnt, then somebody else will.
I would suggest that you buy new in order to get full service and warranty. As noted, your post indicates to me that you are not really interested in the second hand market per se, or have great knowledge of everything it involves. Also, it is not likely that you can pin down the exact equipment at a specific point in time, or at a specific price point, in order to satisfy the settlement requirements.
Many companies offer all in one solutions to your needs so that a person new to the hobby, and not interested in really getting into all of the technical aspects of it, can enjoy music and movies without further hassles. It's the discriminating non-enthusiast thing again. They will recommend packages, at different price points, which is what you were looking for. Let me give an example. Have a look at this link:
http://www.linn.co.uk/majik_music_systemA nice, high quality 2 channel music system. Totally put together for you. They even sell the cables and interconnects. This one is under the $10k price point you asked about. If you explore this particular website more, you will find other recommended systems at the higher price points you are looking at.
And youre not bound by this. Its only a suggestion. You can mix and match other components from the manufacturer as your needs/interest dictate. You can explore the companys website to see what else might be added or changed. Thats also where the dealer at the high-end store who sells the line can help to advise you.
For example, if you have a lot of albums, this company also have a turntable that you can add.
This particular company doesnt sell cassette decks. You would have to add something from another manufacturer. Again the dealer could advise you.
By the way, unless you really have a lot of cassettes, and I do mean a lot, you should ask yourself whether you even really need a cassette deck. Theyre hard to find. And I dont know if pre-recorded cassettes are even made any more. Why bother. If you dont have too many, just replace them with CDs. The same might apply to LPs and turntables. It depends how many you have and what it would cost to replace what you have. Then again, that could be part of the settlement.
As far as a stand goes, well, that will depend a lot on your needs and décor sensibility. If youre into the steel and glass industrial look, many audiophile manufacturers cater to this, like Target or Billy Bags. Other manufacturers are much more artistic, like BellO. Some combine appearance and function, like Salamander or Vantage Point. Or perhaps you might like a custom wood rack by a woodworker, or something from a quality furniture store.
How about your movie system? Well, heres an example at the $10k price point.
http://www.linn.co.uk/majik_movie_systemThe same comments as above apply. You can change it with other products from the same manufacturer. The site has recommended systems for higher price points as well.
Other manufacturers will have similar recommended systems. I chose this particular brand to show you because it is the one I am most familiar with. I dont know if there is anybody else that offers such a complete solution: disc players, amps, speakers, cables. It at least shows you what is out there.
By the way, you specified 7.1 for movies. Unless you have a large room, 5.1 will be more than adequate. There are a lot of manufacturers that make excellent 5.1, but not 7.1 components. So unless you really need 7.1, consider 5.1 systems as well.
Well, Im all talked out for now. Ill watch the thread to see what others say.
Enjoy the music, and movies.