Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

After the expo in NYC we decide to go to this supposedly excellent (zagat rated) chinese joint. We sit down and since there is seven or eight of us the waitress uses two hands to bring us our hot tea. We were so revved up over some speakers at the show that none of us noticed the waitress carried those cups of tea with her fingers inside the cups. I said "HEY YOU GOT YOUR FINGERS IN OUR TEA", she said "I know ,,,,,, I'm used to it!~)

Two audiophiles get drunk, as they walk out of the bar they see a dog licking himself. One says to the other "I wish I could do that" , the other says "go ahead I'm sure he doesn't bite."

A man feared his wife (insert wife's name here...say..."Mary") wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here's what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Mary, what's for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Mary, what's for dinner?”

“(Your name here), for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!”

My fave story involves that company everybody here loves - Bose. ;)

You may recall the Bose vs Consumer Reports legal case where Bose sued CR because they stated in a review that the sound of a certain model of Bose speaker "wandered around the room". Bose (somehow) won the case.

Well, my friend Bill worked at a local audio dealer that sold Bose, Klipsch, Yamaha, B&O, etc. We were talking about speakers one day and Bose came up - he mentioned that the "sound of the instruments wanders around the listening room" when listening to Bose speakers. I know for a fact he did not know about the above mentioned lawsuit, but had heard it for himself.

This audiophile is in pursuit of a better stereo system. He thought he would do well if he got a vesectomy. This way... well you know he could buy class a+ stereo components.
So he goes to his buddy who is his doctor as well to get the procedure done.
The doctor realizes every penny counts so he gives him the home method vesectomy instructions rather than pay the hospital.
He tells him "Go and buy a pack of fire crackers and go home. Hold the fire cracker in your left hand light it and count to ten."
The audiophile guy goes to china town and buys a pack of fire crackers. When he gets home he finds a lighter, takes the pack apart, holds one in his left hand lights it. He starts to count with his right hand up in the air using his fingers to keep count, he reaches 5, stops, looks at his right hand then his left hand then right then left
realizing he has to reach ten he puts the fire cracker between his legs and contnues counting..........