Yes, everyone knows what you think. Does your disdain apply to the very idea of an underhung tonearm or only to the Viv Float, which is a bit eccentric in other ways? I wish someone would market an underhung tonearm that is otherwise conventional. The only one I know of requires you to buy the Yamaha GT5000 turntable, complete with its underhung tonearm. If Yamaha were to market that arm as a separate entity, I would be interested. And I am also interested in the Viv.
I actually don’t think you could mount a cartridge on a paper straw, whether the straw was overhung or underhung.