Gerry Rafferty dies

“I need never look down upon another human being unless I am bending down to help them stand back up on their own two feet.”

Long before the addict admits his or her disease, the family and friends already know something is amiss. Airing the surmised reasons for death should come as no surprise… at least not to them..

As for news reports, just like the death penalty is no deterrent to capital crimes, all the tv, news casts, web shots, blogs, celebrity chasing poporotcy in the world isn’t going to stop anything. It’s sure no preventative measure, no propolactic or insulator against anyone contracting alcoholism or drug dependencies just because they read someone else dies from it. We’ve been anesthetized to the news…. Quite commonly. Only the more jarring headlines catch us up at odds.

for a second reflect back and ask yourself, Did anyone you knew, sit around the high school or college campuses and say, I wanna be a junkie when I grow up!

Of course not. But some do. Bander is right. It is a disease. It’s ddocumented. It’s treatable. There are numerous accounts of full recoveries worldwide.

It’s also the most misunderstood, enigmatic and increasingly involving, duynamic of it’s kind. It’s no simple matter. Some say it’s in the genes some say it’s moral lack. Other’s point to .it being a simple matter of choice.

Someof these pundants … are clueless and very much so. Even some of the so called professionals selling the recovery game itself. It’s why addiction carries such a dark social spectre about it. No one really knows, but those who face it every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of their lives.

We know how bad Pancretitis is. We know how bad Pancreatic cancer is. … if you have ever had it yourself. If not, you can only speculate. Routinely it is terminal.

We lost a member here not long ago who had Pancreatic cancer. He also was a major contributor to the music industry, colabberating and writing his songs that were published. Playing live concerts well into his 60s… while struggling with Pancreatic cancer.

He was also a recoverd alcoholic. With sixteen years of recovery to his credit. Not drinking one day at a time. No matter what came his way. With a dire prognosis having been handed him, he had every reason in the world to have a drink in many peoples opinions.

Not in the mind of a recovering alcoholic though. One can’t conditionalize their mending from this malady. His integrity, his calm manner when we spoke, and the lightness of our talks always wer uplifting for me.

He never related to me his trials with pancreatic cancer or that his condition was terminal. Never. Not once. It was a shock to learn this later./

I met him by accident and we talked. Shortly thereafter I had a run in with acute Pancreatitis . he was instrumental in my recovery and attitude during that time frame…. For following my stay in the hospital for about a week, I was informed I had cancer.

Pancreatic cancer. Colon Cancer… and Adrenal gland cancer as well. I hit the tri fecta. Finally I won something big!

That was almost four years ago come next memorial Day. For four or five months I wondered about a lot of things.

There is nothing that has quite the benefit of one so afflicted person helping another so in the same tracks… as I’ve been told. I find that a very true statement looking back on my own exp talking to Paul.

More’s the pitty every time a life is needlessly wasted. A life given to addiction is a life of futility, frustration, despair, bewilderment, and incomprehensible demoralization. It simply does not have to be so.

It ain’t just about character. Albeit there are all sorts of them subscribing to this program or that for their own recovery today, that’s for sure.

As I understand it, and from what I’ve heard here and there, , To a person, along the way seldom if ever, does any addict or alcoholic think to themselves the ultimate penalty will be theirs to pay as the result. So strong is the denile.

I’ve been told it’s a disease which says you haven’t got it when you do. It says, ‘You can fix it when you can’t’. tells you, “It’s not as bad as it really is, and it uses your own voice to speak these things. It says the same thing everyday… until no one is there to listen to it anymore.

Gerry Rafferty’s demons have stopped talking now.

Numerous times people have said, It’s pure insanity… and denile, vanity, and the rest of the 7 deadly sins are the arrows which fill it’s quiver. It’s more than just that of course, much more… and why it’s such an unfathomable dilemma.

Science and research say, It affects every person who comes in contact with the addict or alkie. The whole family. Nuclear and extended…. Not just the afflicted one themselves. It’s a tremendous force, For which there is still no known chemical cure, but it can be arrested from further development, and a full recovery can definitely be made from it. With help. With time. A little work, a lot of Grace, And some major changes.

I especially hate to see anyone, celebrity or not, die for no good reason. The disease of addiction is not a good enough reason to forfeit one’s life. The main problem is no amount of help, love, education, assistance, incarceration, punitive measures, financial penalties… nothing outside the individual affected can effect the changes needed within them to forestall the ominous forboding future that is their’s by their own hands.

Only that one who’s got it, can do anything about it, or so I’ve been informed.

Additionally, when or if they get that brief moment of clarity, or some say divine intervention, they bneed lots of help. Lots of support…. For a indeterminate amount of time. For they can not unspring the trap they set for themselves by their own hand early on unless they gain such aid..

We all know too well sometimes they do nothing about it, and the results are always cast into stone…. They go insane and are institutionalized, become a danger to the public and are locked away in jails or prisons, or they die a needless, miserable and very often, lonely and unwarranted death

It’s because we as a society do not understand the disease of addiction that we are unable to separate the person… from the behavior.

Very often the ill ones are acting against their own wills! Oh… and will power? That’s no good for their recovery either. Once in a while you might hear someone say, the disease of addiction is in part, “self will run riot”.

They are indeed quite literally, out of control. Nearing madness and qualifying as insane. How sane is someone who continues to do the exact same thing and expect different results? Addicts do it routinely… either consciously. , or sub consciously…. Day after day after day after day. Harming themselves and everyone they come into contact with regularly.

Still we can’t divide from them the one we know or love and their behaviors … at times. If indeed they had a choice we know they’d make the right one… their disease affords them no choice in their minds. That’s the insanity under which they exist… endlessly. Causing more harm, destroying lives, undoing trusts, burning bridges before they even get to them! They keep on incorporating more amd more shame, and guilt., and they are indeed changed by it all. Becoming someone who looked like someone we knew, but now that person isnn’t visible to us anymore.

Their there! Right there in front of us, but we can’t see them any more, for the hurts they have delivered unto us. The trouble they’ve caused. The harms they’ve done. The lies. The broken promises. Our own resentments of themstand in our way. , We’ve meshed their choices and behaviors into this new vision we see them as. The liar. The thief. The drunk. The junkie.

Pouring gas on a fire won’t put it out contrary to popular opinion. .

I need never look down upon another human being sick or otherwise, unless I am bending down to help them stand back up on their own two feet.

How very, very, sad is it to say someone is beter off dead, than alive? It’s tragic. It’s pitiful. And it’s going to happen again. The odd part of it is you can never tell just who will die or who will recover from the abyss of addiction.

Personally, I would have figured Joe Cocker not to have lasted through the 70’s! I’d have bet a lot on that one. ya just never know.

The solution? IMHO ?? it’s all about Grace… and I don’t mean Slick either.

There is one thing people can do to help the infirmed, they can pray. Oh, and they can conceive the person is afflicted by a disease… and not merely a jerk. One dcan try thinking about addicts as some other adversely affected social group. Like people who have MS. Turrettes. Kidney disease. Diabetics. Malaria. Sure, there are a few diffs…. The main fact however is this… They are sick. Sick and usually, don’t know it. Not early on at least..

no one would chide someone in a wheelchair, berate another who has to carry about an oxygen tank everywhere they go. Nobody would punish someone with leporacy. These are all issues not one of the victims picked out as a prize they wanted… but they got it still. Addicts are no different than any other sick soul.

Once the line is crossed over, there’s no going back. No Mulligans. Do overs. Not even if your fingers are crossed. Their road will be unending for them to ever fully recover from the clutches of their illness. It will take daily measures. A whole new change and fashion of life must become their own. They will change, and be changed. Often it’s found to be into something far far better than they were previously. Usefully whole. Happy. Helpful. Charitable. They’ll enjoy a newfound freedom. It’s no subtle thing. Indeed it is one of our modern day miracles.

Still… those caught up in the wreckage of the addicts past may never entirely forgive them for their insurrections, misdeeds and harms.. so be it. Each of us can only change ourselfves., we are not granted the power to change another. Such alterations are an inside job.

Recidivism is a biggie for addict s, and it is for ex cons, ex smokers, and heart patients too. . So again, similarities abound amongst quite different sections of the populus..

Love is key to any addicts recovery. Love for themselves once owned and now lost. Love from their family members, friends and piers… love comes in various forms. Now and then tuff love is due them… though not hatred. Addicts can share in what is now a common solution, or a uncommon and untimely end, IF THEY ACCEPT A FEW FACTS, AND SWALLOW SOME HUGE TRUTHS ABOUT THEMSELVES.

Admitting a thing is not always like accepting that same thing.

Namely they suffer from a problem . they can’t solve by themselves. Then… and only then… is there help.

There’s always hope… there’s always our prayers.. and with a bit more effort and understanding, there’s always our love. All of these are vital to the ones who need to recover from so terrible a medical catastrophy.

Kudos! Blindjim, Man I have a whole new respect for you as I'm a recovering alcoholic. This October will be 10 years sober for me. People can really show their true colors when it comes to an addiction discussion. Like you said one can never understand unless they live it. There isn't a day go by that I don't think about taking a drink. I know it would be disastrous. Peace my friend. One day at a time.

I know a few folks who suffer or have recovered from addiction and there are clearly two types. Those who have character and honor who face and atleast try to deal with their problems and make either a succesful recovery or honest efforts towards getting better. There are also the people that either through lifes circumstance or their own selfish nature use this problem as yet another excuse, often throwing around blame for the very addiction itself.
A friends brother was terminal with brain cancer, he had a rock star sort of life and continued to drink and smoke till the very end. He had battled with addiction to crack years ago and overcome it. Here we find out another of his "friends" who was still active in the crack mess convinced him he should party it up and he couldnt take his money with him so going on a crack bender is the way to go.
After a few days he passed on, stoned and pathetic at the end, used and abused by a predatory addict who when confronted said everyone should thank him for helping Nick with his pain at the end. This wasnt some grand deed by a true friend to ease his suffering, it was somebody who could buy him a pile of crack and a place he could safely smoke it up hidden from thw world and the police.
This is a quick true story that to go into detail would be pointless, but the point is dont ever tell me there are not 2 types of people in this world and in addiction itself. Some are void of charcter, honesty and simply for lack of a better word evil. Anyone who doesnt understand that can offer no lecture, as they simply have not seen the same things I and others have.
God Bless the helpless, and damn the hopeless, some things are unforgivable.

Chadnliz. Well said.

I can surely dig thinking there are things in this world for which there is no forgiveness. Been there and done that.

Today I know how good it is to forgive someone, too. Knowing them both, I’ll choose the latter every time. Eventually.

But, it's my axe! I’ll grind it if I want to in the interim!

it took me decades to forgive two people in my life. What came from those moments following my forgiveness of their actions, was in a word, ineffable.

There is one group of people who seemingly lead detestable and despicable lives and infuse copious amounts of chemicals into their bodies. They dcan stop and later restart, almost at will. While imbibing, they can be quite revolting. When they are not, they can be as saints. These are not the addicts I speak of here. They merely live life hard! Drink & drug a lot. Those folks can do turn arounds almost at will from time to time, for they do not suffer from the disease of addiction. It’s hard to separate those two from each other to the untrained eye.

Addicts will be the same wet or dry.

Will rogers said once, “There are only 3 different kinds of people in this world. The sort that learn from books, the kind that learn from other’s experiences, and then there are those who just have to pee on the electric fence from time to time.”

Ever pee on an electric fence? If so you know what that’s all about. If not.. you’ve no true idea.

Addicts keep peeing on the fence.

Stupid huh?

Nope. It’s the insanity which accompanies their complicated disease.

As I said above, there are those sorts who are going to find they are simply incapable of identifying with other’s, in part or in whole. There are those too who as the result of their own ill concieved, or preconceptions or even prejudices, that either can not or will not separate the behavior of the sickness from the sick person. Consequently there will be a bar to better relations between them.

Red Fox used to do a comedy stand up act. Red could be quite vulgar. Once in a while someone might say something about it during his act. One way he replied in a recording of a live act was this… If you have never cussed, I’ll invite you out to the parking lot to visit me at my car. I’ll open the drivers side door and we’ll place your right hand just on the door jam itself and I’ll slam it shut!

I’ll bet you’ll say words you could only imagine! You might even make some up!

It takes what it takes , for people to truly appreciate a thing

Until I walk in another’s shoes…. Lead their life… experience the depth and breadth of their minds, hearts, and emotions…. I’m only able to conjecture & … theorize…. Assume… and imagine. I won’t ever really truly know how bad it is or how dreadful it can be to have exactly their experience. Ever.

I know literally dozens and dozens of people possibly into the hundreds, both nationally and internationally that have endured and recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body. People from all races, ages, sexes, economic levels professions, etc. Not all of them were addicts or alkies… most however are. Some were inundated with differing medical catastrophies. Quite severe in fact. I’ve been in and around people in recovery and out of it for decades. Over thirty years. Consequently I’ve some knowledge on this topic…. Although I’m no expert.

I keep an open mind as much as is possible with respect to any topical aside. Closing one’s mind to new things is the fastest way to ignorance. I know nobody yet who for a fact knows everything, from both sides 100%.

You can watch your neighbors affect their homes and lanscapes. You’ll see either it’s maintainence or it’s neglect. You’ll see the changes that happen all about it that are visible.

You won’t feel the anxiety that came with borrowing the money to resod the lawn. You won’t feel the pain of repaying the loan. You won’t feel the ache in the neighbors joints after they’ve refinished and repainted the house. You won’t feel the scrapes and cuts they got while laying in a new watering system. You won;’t feel the distance that came between the husband and wife as each one chose different priorities and were divided by them.

See … ?? you get only a little bit of their deal. An insignificant amount with which to truly judge someone else… for if I’m unable to understand… only ignorance and inappropriate judgements can stem from being ill informed…. No matter how close to the situation they are.

It’s like audio a lot…. We try repeatedly to tell another our own ideas of how something sounds… IMHO…. That’s the best we’ll ever be able to do. Some of us have a similar ear. We like the same genres, and hear similarly much of the audio content being produced and a still greater kinship is developed amongst such fellows.

But until and unless we can crawl right into another person’s body, and get just what they are getting… it’s all assumptions and imaginations. Nothing more,

I’ve hesitated to say this openly for years, but maybe it’ll serve to illustrate my point better.

When I was 9 years old I had to use a rifle to make my alcoholic father quit abusing my mother, and me. At gun point I made him leave … for good, and for all. In my mind this was the necessary action I had to take.

. I had tried over and over various ways to make him quit abusing us both, and stop his drinking. 3 times in as many weeks found me at a neighbors house urgently calling the authorities to come and bring some peace back into our home. They kept coming.. and going … and he kept doing what he did. The authorities were of little help. Actually they were, but not the right kind of help.

The fourth time he was abusing my mom I ignored her pleas to get the cops and instead, went to the closet and took out the only tool in the house I felt was needed. I was scared to death, but only briefly. I loaded the rifle lifted the safety and walked into the room they were in just as dear old Dad was regaining consciousness.

It wasn’t my power that made him leave right then. You could say it was a much greater power. A Higher power maybe. Maybe it was God! Maybe it was the power of Mr. Winchester. Maybe it was all of them put together.. He did in fact leave. He never returned. Ever.

His issues with drink and drugs weren’t brought to a halt that long ago, dismal wintery night… His abuse was however.

At the request of my mother, 16 years later I did see him… in another town, under different circumstances. My hatred for him remained. My inability to understand or to forgive was in full force. I reiterated to him my last words he had heard as though they were brand new. I reproved it by showing him the SW model 29 .357 magbnum I had under my jacket. Following that instance I never saw him again. He died about 10 years later in a hospital in Ohio from the results of his sickness.

I knew he was dying. But opted not to attend his funeral, or even to visit him before he left.

All of that remorse, shame, guilt, resentment and hatred should have been stopped the moment I made him go away. It didn’t though. I carried it inside of me for I was unable to forgive him. That account was settled about twenty years ago or so and long after his demise.

I finally found out we all have choices in life to live as freely as we are able to do. Forgiveness is one of the most benevolent and inspirational tools we might have that lessens the burdens of loathing and misinterpretation, we carry along from day to day. Since that time I try to move along as streamlined as I am able. Carrying as little baggage as I can. For me now, these are choices.

Everybody, everywhere, is doing the very best they can with what they have to do it with. Always.

Stopping drinking and drugging was not a choice he ever saw, I don’t think. He was forced to carry on to the bitter ends and allowed his sickness to win the war that raged inside of him. That was the best he could do.

Addicts don’t have the luxury of choice. They become human doings, rather than remain human beings. They’ve stripped themselves of valuable spiritual principles…. Like dignity. Discipline. Honesty. Accountability. Responsibility. Tolerance. umility. Charity. Altruism. Forgiveness. Love. And so many others. They wind up as empty shells.

If such people are not really sick, insane, incapable of making good choices for themselves…. I’m entirely clueless on what it takes for a person to be thought of as sick.

Alcoholism, and drug addiction, (different words for the same condition), is not something everyone will understand or even be affected by in some way. Only the addicts will ever really and truly understand…. If they somehow gain a solid foundation on some pathway to recovery they will understand a lot more about it.

Recovered people abound. They’re everywhere. Doing all sorts of great things. The music we listen to is filled with evidence of their own changes and in short order, some brief segments on what both sides of their roads looked like. Going into and coming out of the grips of their inability to choose? Nope. From their lack of moral fiber? Nope. Nope, not any of those singular things… “… from being sick… insane… and without freedom to choose properly for themselves.”.

Or so I understand it from those hundreds of people I now know. In more than a few cases, I know them quite intimately.

Round trip tickets to Hell and back come with heavy dues…. The costs are a life as one knows it, and a dispensation of Grace they neither can adequately describe, or feel they deserve.

It’s not what I know or don’t know that puts me in harms way. No, most often it is what I know, that just ain’t so that troubles me regularly.