Performer-in-Room Quality with Speakers?


I need advice regarding what kind of speakers might help provide what I'm looking for. (For some time now I've been a tube guy for amplication, and that will not change; source components and media vary.)  I want an illusion of the performer (acoustic instrument music, vocals, classical, and combo jazz,) actually being in the room, realism so convincing that it is potentially startling. The only time I've had that sensation is when I use my Stax Ear Speakers. Concerns are sensitivity to room placement, cost, and of course spouse approval factor. Soundstage, imaging, dynamics, deeeeep bass, can take a back seat if necessary. 

Any ideas?  Single-point drivers?  Crossoverless units? Open baffle?  Vertical arrays?  Electrostatrics or planars? 
(For the record I've owned Maggies, Shahinian Obelisks, mid-fi traditional boxes and so on.)

Thanks for your ideas,

OGOgre
ogogre
Well, my wife rejected the idea of deadening the room, although we do have drapes and carpet already.  The Eminent Technology smaller models and the Omega Audio speakers look intriguing.

As for budget, I don't have an endless budget, but I would of course prefer less expensive good sound to expensive good sound, and I am also one of theose guys who just loves it when something incredibly inexpensive turn out to provide high end performance.

Yesterday I brought up two old (surrounds still good, though) Boston BA-60s with the original SEAS tweets.  I put 'em on some old stands that are probably too short (12 "), but I can experiment this way before buying taller ones.

Then I hauled my old 2x12 M&K powered sub from the basement, which was not fun, let me tell you.  I have it at a low volume setting and I played with the crossover with "Sultans of Swing" playing, ending up with 70hz.

These sound very, very good.  The last time I listened to them it had to have been SS, but they LOVE tubes!  The sound is neutral yet silky.  And it has some of the realism that I want.  Nevertheless, the quest never ends, does it?

OGOgre/Michael
On a relatively small budget I've managed to obtain a very realistic presence that I'm very happy with. I'm using Tekton Enzo speakers driven by a Raven Audio Blackhawk LE integrated amp with RCA black plate 6L6 power tubes along with the NOS RCA small signal tubes it came with and using Western Electric 14 ga speaker wire with Belden 8402 microphone cable for interconnects. This reasonably priced system delivers realism and presence that puts the performers in the room with you. Vintage tubes and speaker with the Enzo's and Blackhawk are providing the dynamics, tonality and realism I've been searching years for......just one of the numerous audio possibilities in achieving real sound, it's what makes this hobby so fun and frustrating at the same time!
You should listen to Vandersteens....  if you are near or can get to New Jersey....Audioconnection is the place....even talk to John on the phone.  He's very accessible and anxious to help.
Everyone hears things differently, and I can't imagine any speaker manufacturer (for home audio) isn't trying to replicate "live" sound somehow. For my tastes, a tube amp seems more realistic (harmonic content delivery seems to be why this is), and my speaker preference is for something that seems sort of "flat" if in fact anybody uses that term anymore…in my case meaning no low mid humps or tweeter screech. 
FWIW, I did not mean to suggest that I am on a very small budget, just that I would prefer cheaper over pricier.  While Decware and MBL are out of the question, a pair of Vandersteens are a possibility, and they get mentioned a lot.  There is a Vandersteen dealer just under two hours from me, and from the V. site, the latest 2ce and the 1Ci look interesting.

Nevertheless, if I could score a refurbished pair of ESL-57s, I'd snap them up.  Unfortunately, they are typically listed as pick up only from either of the coasts, but I live in fly-over country.

OGOgre