Store auditioning and then buying on-line from others. How do you feel about it ?

@gdnrbob.
Correct. I think my next step is to visit a dealer with a long standing customer/mutual friend and have that be an ice breaker. I forgot, but I was in Des Moine and visited a small dealer. They had their guard up at first, but once I was able "geek out" with the nicer employee over a mutual interest, It made for a nice, but quick listening session. Wasn’t a fan of the speaker placement, so not much of an audition. Still, the vibe was thick! when I walked in.

I grappled with the idea of buying from a dealer who wasn't local, after visiting my local dealer to make a purchase, and the salesman seemed he didn't know much about the equipment he sold, was pretty much an "order taker" and wasn't that interested in finding answers to my questions.
About 40 years ago I was a commissioned audio salesman and it used to really bother me when I'd spend time working with a customer who would then go to a discount store and buy cheaper stuff.  Every now and then, when they'd have problems, some of them would actually have the audacity to ask me to help them with problems they had with the equipment they bought from that discount store.
But in the case of making a purchase from my local dealer, the owner had an investment that I benefited from, and though my salesman wasn't the best, I didn't think it was right to buy the items somewhere else, when the local dealer "added value" by having the units available on display at their showroom.

I always try to support good local dealers when you can find them. In the long run they can save you money by offering good advice and sometimes can link you with great deals on trade ins from other customers. But many dealers aren’t great and have bad attitudes. For those I don’t care. 

Brick and mortar dealers can go straight to Hell.

There, I said it.

Small selection, poor attitudes, RUSHING CUSTOMERS, goofball markups, and generally being useless.

Can someone explain why I must pay huge amounts to visit some dealership's small mostly useless showroom during working hours so I can have the exclusive privilege of having them ship a box to me I could just as well get from the manufacturer?

If you have a little showroom with not quite what I want and you cling to me playing 30 second snippets and chat at me, the only thing you're going to sell is the idea of me leaving.

There's like 100 shows a year, I don't really NEED to go to a dealership. So just be like those "by appointment only" dealers that are just local distributors there to take a chunk of my bank account for the exclusive privilege of buying audio gear. 

" Brick and mortar dealers can go straight to Hell."

After reading a good sampling of your posts, it appears to me that your attitude might be the sole reason your journey in high-end audio is less that satisfying for you.