Hi Dustin
let’s think about this.
Does it make sense to try this technique on an unsuspended turntable setup, that is directly coupled to suspended springy wood beam floors ? imo, no. why bother? Btw - how many Audio Boutiques have you been to where they are using a beautiful historic Brick and Mortar house, and have a turntable set up on the 2nd floor - wood floors ?
So a stable setup to begin with is needed.
There is always a higher risk with vinyl just by the physics nature of it. The horizontal platter/lp acting like a possible angle grinder on the vertical cantilever, especially on well endowed cartridges, comes to mind.
To help with any worries keep the turntable unplugged, and ensure your phono stage and amp are good quality and electronically stable.
btw
I have learned some good can also come from this exercise, if your wife catches you doing "this dance" in silence. She might think you have maybe just "lost it", ....gone over the top. So you may gain back some leverage.
If you choose to do the dance without the option of waving your hands around; she may also think you are auditioning for Riverdance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgGAzBDE454:^)
Cheers Chris