..but most of the best phono preamps are not true balanced designs, which is another issue.
This is the key issue. As ralph points out just using an XLR means nothing and in order to take advantage of a balanced interface one must adhere to AES48. Just because a XLR connector has the ability to be wired to that standard does not mean that everything that it is plugged into also adheres to that standard. If one aspect of the standard is not met, the whole concept collapses.
A moving coil cartridge is an inherently symmetrical device ( coil and 2 tails ).
A MC step up transformer provides an inherently symmetrical input ( coil and 2 tails).
Therefore why would you use an asymmetrical cable where the +ve and -ve sides are different in this application. It makes no sense.
This is an instance where the necessary aspects of the AES48 can exist at the source and the load but in order to operate 'properly' the interface cabling must also be done to the standard (twisted pair with a shield) and I have only experienced a few cases where using this interface worked the same or better than the 'conventional' method. In all of the cases that worked, the tonearm was specifically (re)wired for this purpose. With a SUT the RCA cable interface is fine for running the AES standard since the shield can simply be joined externally to the tonearm/table and SUT grounds making sure the primary of the SUT has no ground reference. In fact at no point in the AES48 is an XLR connector called out, it just happens to be the industry accepted connector.
dave