what would you do?

Helomech, thank you for the input. It's reassuring to know that somebody else has experienced the same things as me when those are speakers got such rave reviews. Made me wonder if I never learned what to listen for

With the exception of the elevated bass (probably intended to impress during auditions), they're good speakers when judged by the NRC/Floyd Toole school of speaker design. Those who enjoy that type of sound tend to also like Paradigm, B&W and Focal. I've noticed patterns with owners of these brands - they tend to change speakers like socks. That or they continue to upgrade until they reach the pinnacle of such design: Wilsons/Magicos/802D and company. 

It seems to me that those who listen to music more than sounds tend to get off the merri-go-round with the likes of Spendor, Harbeth, Graham, Devore, Audio Note, Vandersteen, and generally, speakers of less conventional design. I suspect you might find yourself in this latter camp in the future. It's where the music lives IMO.

The room comes first. You learned the hard way. Me too.
Re the Spendor line,
I love them and I think there will be some changes in the near future.
The A line and D line nearly cross each other. They add new models
in the A but not the D. Something's cooking there.
If your room sucks, add the absorbing panels-(DIY at $30 each)
then buy a room correction unit if you can swing it. At Axpona they had some real issues with the rooms builtins hence most sounded poor. Exceptions were those using the Anthem unit. No I don't have any stock or connection.

Another option for around 3 grand would be to buy a stand mount and subs.

This is what I would do if I were smarter (and not buy a future floor stander)

1) Acoustic treatments (under $1K)
2) KEF LS50 passive (what I currently use, used $800+)
3) Sub woofer(s) for about $1000 each. I have no clue which ones are good for music but I know you can get good ones for this price.

This will give you really good sound. I am not doing this because I do not want to deal with subs but this a very smart way to go. 

Of all the speakers I have owned,  the $20K Revel Salon1, Thiel SCS4 monitors, and others, the KEF LS50 is my favorite on the top end (except bass). The bass is not that great but in a small room it is reinforced by the walls.

http://www.theabsolutesound.com/articles/munich-2019-sources-and-cables/

An Anthem STR preamplifier ($3999) featuring its latest ARC Genesis room-correction software helped bring out the best from a pair of Paradigm Persona 7F speakers driven by two Anthem STR power amplifiers, and connected with Shunyata cables and its Denali power conditioner. Music was provided using an Aurender N10 music server. With the ARC Genesis room-correction software employed, bass was much more even throughout the room with very good imaging. It made the system sound like it was a much more expensive one.

Get a pair of great monitors and a sub. Focal makes an excellent monitor or just buy a nice used pair. You could just get a great sound form the monitors and dial in some of the lower bass which will also clean up the mid-range for your room.  Plus the monitors will most likely be easier to drive.

Happy Listening.