You know you're an audiophile if--

You get into spats about vinyl vs digital are forever buying new DAC's or obsess about VTA.
Throw a fit and threaten divorce if your wife moves your speakers.
Talk about how holographic your system is and how well it images to your non audiophile friends and you just get a blank look in reply.
Spend a fortune on bits of wire with shiny things hanging off the ends of them.

Or you could just chill and enjoy the music your choice.

Jedinite,
If your baby refuses to drink his/her bottle after you replace the stock cord.... you got a junior audiophile in the making!!

you cannot listen to your system off the sweet spot

your stereo system is your highest priority, and/or, your stereo system ( a material thing) takes precedence over human relationships.

You have big ears.

The better to hear you with my dear.