Do you believe in Magic?

04-21-12: Chadeffect
Sometimes speedily expressing ones self in these little boxes can lead to points that with a little closer inspection could have been worded better.

Much as I enjoy these online communities there is nothing like talking to someone in the flesh. I am sure all the above comments over a beer or tea would result in much less abrasion.

I agree, Chad, that a certain amount of conflict is attributable to unfortunate wording that leads to false impressions. Sometimes people who appear contrary, or even belligerent, don't really mean that much by what they say.

As I mentioned in my last post, I believe that getting along with people is more about a person's intentions than it is their expressions. But inferring intentions from expressions isn't always easy, as this thread has illustrated several times. So I completely agree with you that written conversations sometimes CONCEAL people's real thoughts and feelings.

Having said that, it's worth pointing out that written conversations can also REVEAL people's real thoughts and feelings. An obvious reason is that the safety provided by "virtual" conversations emboldens people to act in ways they might not otherwise. Virtual conversations are like drunk conversations... inhibitions are lowered and the truth comes out, and sometimes the truth is ugly.

Another reason why written conversations can reveal people's real thoughts and feelings is that, unlike spoken conversations, there is a LATENCY and a RECORD. So when something doesn't feel quite right, you can take your time to really think about what a person has said, which is difficult to do in real time during a spoken conversation.

My wife is a clinical psychologist. This conversation is reminding me of conversations with her (in a good way). Maybe in addition to Amps, Speakers, Tech Talk, etc., Audiogon should have a category for Group Therapy. We could all use it from time to time.

bc

Bryon and Chad, you are both spot on with how the written word can sometimes not really convey what ones true feelings and intentions are. Bryon, I particularly enjoy your posting style. Even though you often present many thoughts, they are each clear and concise. I wish I could put my thoughts and feelings into words that well. I am like you in that I usually end up regretting having arguments. It is not any fun. I feel like in several of them that the other person was much closer to my opinion than not and I just could not get my point across. Very frustrating. It is part of the reason I don't post that much.

As for the subject of the original post, yes I do believe in magic. I have tried several of the tweaks mentioned including ERS paper and Bybee products. I tried 3 different versions of Bybees wanting to really like them. I found that they changed the sound, but I personally did not care for the effect of either. I also believe that cables can and do make a difference. The technical reasons have been explained many times on this site by those that know far more about it than I do. It is one of those things that I don't care if I ever fully understand technically. I recently went through a cost cutting period and went on the search to find cables that approached the musicality of some of the more expensive cables in my rig. I was able to find interconnects and speaker cables that came close enough that I did not feel bad about having them in my system. But when it came to my power cords, I bought several budget cables that I wanted to like as much as the higher dollar ones. I didn't find any of them to come close enough to what I had to make me feel good about selling the more expensive ones. I still have the more expensive ones. The less expensive ones were the same gauge, length, etc. Do the more expensive cords have magic? Sure, they make my system sound more like music and not notes.

Bryon,
Count me in for the therapy group. There is a thread right there.

What would be in the therapy room? Obviously the wall would be padded with diffusion devices & bass traps. Soft music playing in the room,but from what system?

Surely it would be a quad ESL? There is something sane & honest about a quad.

P.s sorry for calling you Byron BTW. My typing as hopeless as some of these tweaks!

Very admirable posts, Bryon! I agree with Csmgolf that you are one of the clearest posters on these forums, and I envy this ability you have to do this. In fact, I was quite surprised to therefore read that you don't actually enjoy argument. I assume you mean the combative aspect, and not the argument for argument's sake? Surely you must derive some pleasure from constructing such logical premises and conclusions as you have frequently on this site?

Csmgolf, Chad, and Learsfool - Thanks for your kind words. And thanks for contributing to the effort to "try to have a civilization."

04-22-12: Learsfool
I was quite surprised to therefore read that you don't actually enjoy argument. I assume you mean the combative aspect, and not the argument for argument's sake? Surely you must derive some pleasure from constructing such logical premises and conclusions as you have frequently on this site?

Yes, Learsfool, it's the combative aspect of arguing that I don't enjoy much anymore, though I admit that sometimes my writing suggests otherwise. Since I'm in a strangely confessional mood, I will tell you that, as a younger man, I was a habitual arguer. When I disagreed with you, I was vocal about it, to put it politely. Six years in graduate school learning to analyze, criticize, and construct arguments from some of the world's most argumentative people was exactly what I DIDN'T need. I was turning into a real a**hole.

So I decided to try to develop ways of relating to people that are more cooperative and prosocial. I've been lucky enough to have three good role models. One of them was my dissertation director, who in spite of being a very successful academic philosopher, was one of the most cooperative and prosocial people I've ever met. The second was my first psychotherapist (yes, there have been others), who helped me develop some empathy, both for myself and for others. And the third is my wife, who is a psychologist/psychotherapist herself. She's like the calm dog at the dog park who "corrects" aggressive dogs with nothing more than her body language. Needless to say, I am the aggressive dog.

Some of my aggressive behavior can be seen on this thread. Obviously I'm talking about my argument with Geoff, which I regret for a variety of reasons. I still believe the substantive things I said to Geoff, but I wish I'd adopted a more civil tone at points. That continues to be a struggle for me, especially with certain types of personalities.

And that brings me back to your question, Learsfool. Yes, I enjoy constructing arguments. It may sound odd, but the great majority of the time, I don't intend those arguments to be argumentative. Non-argumentative arguments are an effective way to explore an idea in depth, and I very much enjoy exploring ideas in depth, even when I turn out to be wrong. I'm aware that arguments, argumentative or not, put some people off, so I usually try to soften them with a dose of humility or humor. I haven't displayed a lot of that on this thread, so I will add that to the list of things I regret.

The process of growing up never ends. Or at least it shouldn't.

Bryon