This is the funniest thread since Famous Quotes.
My stuff...
1) Atma Sphere(valve)
You are a person who seeks good value, honest to goodness quality, and pride of ownership. You value substance over style. Your diet is comprised of a high amount of white sugar. You distrust others, and are frequently prone to discuss various, unbelievable conspiracy theories. You lace every conversation of things bad with liberal use of the word, "they". You believe that cosmetics, and art in general, are a long time left wing plot for world domination.
2) Blue Circle(valve)
You are a person who seeks products off the beaten path. You work hard, and play hard. You have a fetish with anything stainless steel. As a child you buried your underwear in the neighbor's backyard. You are angered by people who wear red shoes. You are so anti - cat, you wear a shirt which on the front reads, "I had a cat once", and on the back reads, "It tasted like chicken".
3) Coincident(cable/loudspeaker)
You are a person who is truthful and hardworking. You are considered a kind, thoughtful person. You have a good sense of humor. You are prone to long rambling conversations. You have a habit of eating cherries or grapes, without paying for them, during supermarket shopping. As an adult, you were labeled borderline illiterate. Your father has always considered you a failure.
4) Jadis(valve)
You are an artistic person. You enjoy the finer things in life; good food, good wine, romance. You frequently have to convince everyone else that you are more intelligent than they are. You cheated on your driver's examination. You are resentful when your friends become successful. Your aunt was able to get you a deferrment in the Vietnam War due to the fact that she was having an affair with a local state senator. Your homosexual nephew twins are convinced that you are also gay.
5) Musical Fidelity(electronics/cable)
You are considered practical, intelligent, and logical. Your stepbrother always admired you, and regretted you were not "true" brothers. You are cheap. Of only average intelligence, you go out of your way to make people think you are smarter than you are. You smoke. You recycle dental floss by sterilizing it in a microwave oven, and reusing over the course of 270 days. You removed the emissions control devices on your 1975 Chevrolet Malibu, but "pass" your annual state safety/emission inspection by a friend whom you fix electronic equipment.