Study finds your Amplifier reveal your personality


Originally posted by chris.redmond2@bushinternet.com (A) on July 18, 2002 at 14:29:58 on AA:

Just in.

Studies by the Birmingham University of Psychology - primarily dealing with the correlation between motor vehicles and their owners` personalities have also revealed what appears to be startling conclusions concerning which brand of amplifier an individual purchases; obviously someone on the team has an interest in audio.

Here are the results, although due to time constraints I`ve had to do a little editing........

MARK LEVINSON (Solid State);
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand you tend to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes again and again. People think you are stupid.

KRELL (Solid State);
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by special agents. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Krell owners do terrible things to small animals.

Audio Research (Valves);
You are a pioneer and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, scornful and impatient of people. You are not very nice.

PLINIUS (Solid State);
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like a bull. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You constantly praise your amplifier whenever possible. You are a communist.

MUSICAL FIDELITY (Solid State);
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you a great deal. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Musical Fidelity owners are known for committing incest.

ARCAM (Solid State);
You are sympathetic and understanding of other people`s problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That`s why you will never make anything of yourself. Most people out of work are Arcam owners.

MARANTZ (Solid State);
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Marantz owners are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance disgusts people. Most Marantz owners are thieves. You have an embarrassing bowal complaint.

MARANTZ (Valves):
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening your friends. You are cold, unemotional, and sometimes fall asleep when making love. Marantz (Valves) owners make good bus drivers.

COPLAND (Valves);
You are the artistic type and have difficulty with reality. Chances of monetary gain are excellent. Most female Copland owners are prostitutes. All Copland owners die of venereal disease.

MOTH (Solid State);
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Moth owners are murdered.

MERIDIAN (Solid State);
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Meridian owners are drunks or dope fiends or both. People laugh at you a great deal. You remember their names and addresses.

QUAD (Solid State);
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don`t do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Quad owner of any importance. Quad owners should avoid standing still too long before they take root and turn into trees.

Best Regards,
Chris Redmond.
atzen811
Trelja, I heard a rumor. Are you able to confirm or deny?

Some time back, a closed meeting at Carver Audio was called to select a candidate to fill a high level upper management slot. Everyone was eager to agree with Bob on every topic, and when the conversation ridiculed other audio manufacturers, Bob Carver slipped in the story about the baked cat dinners by the Blue Circle Audio Group. He watched each face to be certain that there was a honest look of disgust. Thus Insuring in his own mind, there were no secret allies among them.

After much laughter, and close examination of each candidate, Bob decided to distance his group even further (especially from Jeff Rowland who is vegetarian), by hosting a dinner of prime quality half pound hamburgers and Beer.

A long limo drive into the country was decided upon, a visit to Bossie's Steak House, well know by many as THE prime beef and gourmet burger Mecca.

After traveling a long stretch of open country , Bob Carver ordered the driver to slow the limo. He then pointed to a poor sheep who had it's head trapped in the barb wire by the roadside. (This is perhaps how the story about the sheep at parties began.)

Jumping out of the limo, Bob climbed the fence and began to pull at the poor animal in an attempt to free it's head from the barb wire.

Suddenly he stopped, looked at the sheep and without a moments hesitation, arranged himself at the back of the sheep and dropped his pants.

Then he yelled to the occupants of the limo, "Hey, any of you executive candidates want in on this?"

The doors flung open and two candidates leaped from the limo, cleared the fence, knelt down beside the sheep and stuck their head through the fence.
Albert and Trelja:

You guys are too much! Any more of these anecdotes and there will be almost enough material for a National Audiophile Enquirer. I knew there was a reason that I never liked Carver.

Just for the record there was a meeting of the "REAL" BCSS this afternoon. The phony upstart BCSS is in the process of being neutralized. It is strongly suspected that the fake BCSS are really aliens from the Motari Nebula who are having severe trouble coping with the effects of the Earth's atmosphere and the depletion of the ozone layer. This is a very new development, so please do not spread the news too widely. Neither cat, nor liver, nor cheese were served at the post meeting brunch.
I have heard rumor that you have to bring 3 days old donuts to those BCSS meeting, is that ture?
Blue Circle ~ Red Square?...hmmm...they do have socialized medicine up there...and what's the deal with those wooden knobs?...
Might BCSS guys begin to sweat profusely when they are shown a Queen of Hearts?
Albert, I cannot confirm the rumors regarding Carver. I am the opposite coast, and news is slow to arrive in these parts. A couple of questions about Carver, if I may. Is it true he is able to make any of his lackeys feel exactly like that sheep that was stuck in the fence? And, was John Atkinson able to confirm it via measurement?

Do you remember the ads that Bob Carver used to write in the zenith of his company, circa 1984? He used to spin a yarn about a 2000 watt amp clipping while recreating the sound of a scissors snip. I know, I know, everyone uses that for equipment evaluations.

Well, he kind of went on to say this was the reason he needed to build such high wattage amps. He needed more power than that paltry 2000 watter.

I guess he was recording the castrations of his management during their initiations. No, you cannot be too careful about capturing the moment. And, I guess you can never have too much power either.

Bossie's certainly sounds like my kind of place.

I have to thank you for the Jeff Rowland explanation. Now I know why they have that one new wave rock CD at their shows,
The Smiths "Meat Is Murder". It always seemed out of place next to all the classical stuff.