spend more money on pre or power amp ?

Willems - I have to say you should find the Audiogon thread "Preamp Deal of the Century" and read it. That thread will point you to a fantastic preamp which may transform your system. The base model is the Syrah and it sells for 2.5K new. Older versions of the Syrah had a few growing pains as it evolved in regard to hum and quality control but the latest batch of Suprateks seem to be rock solid.

For 2.5K ---> 5K, you will not find a better sounding preamp.

A passive preamp is not going to help you with harshness.

With the right tubes & the Syrah, your system will sound less harsh, liquid, dynamic and much more natural. The Surpatek is not a warm sounding tube preamp so it will not impart warmth in exchange for the harshness.

Supratek's tend to sound good regardless of amp but if you must buy an amp too, then take the remaining $$ and get yourself a pair of LAMM M1.1

if the pre can't comprehend the information the amp will never see it. make certain that the pre is of the highest quality and performance and then forget about it while you find a cable amp combo that works with your speakers...

If I were starting from scratch I would buy the best and most neutral pre amp and speakers I could afford (by reputation, mostly). These would be my baseline for further changes. Then I would find an amp that matched the requirements of the speakers and that gave me a sound I felt i wanted (presumably neutral). I would further tune my system to my sound preferences by selection of cdp and cartridges for turntables (and phono stages).

Get the best pre you can get, tube would be nice with your ribbons or a top of the line passive. I would do this first. I have read that the new Ampzilla amp is one of the best with the RM-40's. As you may already know, the RM-40's are not plug and play and need to be fine tuned by hand after you get set up with new amp so you will have to start over when you change amps. I am a vmps owner for 6 years now (super tower/r's) and may go with the RM-40's soon myself.

If you have a good system and you are still feeling harsh there is a very good chance that your room is the problem. Clap your hands and if it sounds harsh or reverbs try deadening the room out before you run and spend tons of money to upgrade your system.