New Damper material

Let us know how your protien based vibration absorbers work out. However, it seems kind of ewwy to have meat lying around. They'd go bad and start smelling not to mention the mess they'd make. Maybe synthetic protien-like substances would suffice such as saline implants.

"Maybe synthetic protien-like substances would suffice such as saline implants."

Ha! Or imitation crab meat.

After many listen tests the Sun-Cook have determined that TURKEY is the best meat for damping those unwanted resonant frequencies that annoy most audiophiles. To get the most from your turkey follow this procedure:
1. Use a Ginsu knife to cut up the raw turkey into about half pound portions. Only the Ginsu knives resonante at the correct frequency that severe the nerve tissue, stopping the Turkey from vibrating itself.
2. Be sure not to cut through the wishbone as this will be used latter.
3. Next order a Steam Buggy from the nearest Info-mercial and steam the meat at 450 degrees for 3 minutes. (This tool will make cleanup a snap too!) It is important not to overcook. While you are steaming the turkey prepare yourself a portion and cook it well for a sandwitch latter.
4. After the meat has been properly steamed, it is time to select the pieces for the sealing process. Based on the sonic character of your electronics select a blend of white meat, dark meat, and a little organ tissue. The white meat imparts a nuetral sound to your system which in some systems can be overly dry, bright, and lack character. The dark meat will give a meatier flavor to the sound but be careful, too much and you'll get the dreaded "DARK" sound to your system. Use the organ meat sparingly as this can impart an earthy sound to your system that is good for the soul. We've found that a blend of 85% white, 10% dark and 5% organ meat works for most systems.
5. Next order a Vaccuum Sealer. This will be used to seal the steamed Turkey meat which will prevent spoilage and keep your valuable equipment from being damaged. It is important to minimize the amount of plastic sealer you use and follow to the letter the directions for sealing the plastic or you could end up with a "plastic-creditcard sound" simalar to HP's Acoustats back in the eighties. You need to prepare 5, 8 ounce bags of meat per component.
6. Now its time to try out your efforts. Place the bags underneath your components in a Pentagram shape. Rock your component back and forth a little to seat each piece. Place the Wishbone on the CD, SACD, DVD-A or Turntable after you've chosen your favorite artist and cut.
7. Before listening go fix yourself a Turkey sandwich, a glass of milk, and cut a piece of pumpkin pie. Be sure to consume all at least one half hour before conducting your listening tests. This will also give your components time to warm up.
8. It's now time to dim the lights and give your system a listen. Be sure to click your ruby slippers together (Available at DorTotoOZ.com),close your eyes and chant the following mantra, "I wish it sounded like Mark Levinson, I wish it sounded like Mark Levinson (or pick any of the Class A Components of the Month as noted by Stereofool). You'll soon nod off to Audio Nirvana.
9. Happy Thanksgiving and Listening you Turkeys!

I'm sure if you leave the meat out and exposed, it will sound better & better.....
I can prove this. I'll bet more & more flies show up as the meat ages. Flies must appreciate good sound, I've never seen one in a Bose store......
Can I review Audio now?

Food products: A whole new world for audio. Sgr's vacuum packer is a good idea if you go the real meat route. But I'm thinking "what won't spoil no matter how long it sits out?" Well, 'tis the season. The answer's right in front of us. I'm thinking "fruit cake". It must be good for something! Why not audio?