Update...
Like all things audio, I started and could not stop. I did finally find a way to get a seal with the UE's but found them to me muddy and loaded in the mids. This seems odd to me as all the reviews I have read suggest that they are ultra clear to the point of being bright and etchy. Not so inside my head. So on to the Etymotic HF2...again, very hard time finding a seal but eventually found the rounded little foam tips to work, not the comply but the funny circle looking ones. These buds were the clearest, most detailed I have heard yet and close to what I think I am searching for. The big issue was the lack of bass...total lack of bass. So on to the Westone 3...only tips that seal for me were the large Xmas tree type and they seal well. These are a very comfortable design and are sort of a cross between the UE and Ety in sound. I prolly can live with them but the bumped up mids bother me, similar to the UE. They also lack the clarity and air of the ETY. So on to the Etymotic ER4P...these are in transit to me now and I am hoping they are the ones for me. From what I liked about the HF2, they should be. My wish is for a little more bass without the exaggerated midrange. I am looking forward to it!
Another interesting point about this whole thing is just how good the player in the Moto Droid can sound. With these good buds, it certainly sounds close to a decent HiFi rig and in some ways better. This came as a pleasant surprise.
Thanks for all that offered input. It was a strong jumpstart for my search.