Audio - Post Divorce

Excellent advice- Douglas.

My first marriage ended not because of my stereo or hobbies. I placed it anywhere I wanted to and listened anytime I wanted to. I was simple and stubborn: my way or highway. I simply was not dog on the leash and perhaps never will be. Last few years of marriage I felt I could become aggressive and go physical, but chosen just to walk away.

My second marriage is completely different and I like it went this desirable direction. Perhaps as long as I'm not required to be a dog or any domesticated pet, I'm fine and committed. I'm married to an athlete --Olympic taekwondo medalist and kickboxer who also loves music. So we both love athletics, workouts, active life and music. Most of the time she'd enjoy my 80's new wave collection with REM, Depeche Mode, Matt Bianco, Basia, Sade... Started exploring some progressive stuff such as Ambrosia.

Czarivey, you succinctly characterized what I had become- a dog on a leash. I'm not a big booze buyer- I once came home with a $50 bottle of whiskey (which I do maybe twice or three times a year) and boy did I get a tongue lashing, even though 1- I was the sole bread winner, and 2- I make a nice income. But I caught hell for it. Yet when I pointed out that my x spent $125-$150 a month at a beauty salon, and insisted on a cleaning lady 2 times a week, well, I as just being insensitive and harsh. 

My my first marriage did not end because of stereo or hobbies. It didn't end because I spent money on girls, booze or drugs. It ended because I had become insensitive to the increasingly expensive lifestyle my x was accustomed to and was demanding. That and because I had the audacity to suggest that when I was out of work for 3 months following open heart surgery that my then wife should rejoin the workforce instead of me burning through savings to pay for every single household expense when I was recuperating and drawing no income. And in case anyone is interested, the x is a dentist, you know, one of those really low paying jobs. 

But I am not bitter. Better off without that dead weight. I like my new home, and while I did not run out and buy a BMW or a sports car, (ok, I did look at bmws) my system took a quantum leap. And now in the mix of all that, after already divorced, it seems I've actually found a lady more interested in me as a person than someone interested in my wallet. My x would be shocked that such an insensitive and harsh lout as myself could actually be in a good place, and in a good relationship. 

Music + Stereo= perfect relationship!

"And in case anyone is interested, the x is a dentist, you know, one of those really low paying jobs...."

zavato: I feel your pain,...my first was very intelligent, accomplished and hard-working and after marriage decided that by the age of 31 that 'she had worked enough...' and would focus on being a mother (something I respect) then after the child was in school and age 8-9, got back to the 'worked enough up to the age of 31...' rationale.  In the divorce, I got to hear phrases like 'the lifestyle I allowed her to become accustomed to,...'; suffice it to say it's very expensive :-) to hear such phrases. My son is in college now and the lazy sod is still not working.   Second is showing signs of 'having worked enough...need to travel and find herself...' in her mid-40s,..again, highly intelligent, motivated, driven and hard-working + independent + feminist + not dependent upon men when we met and married.  What a nightmare....

I second Jafant's suggestion and will modify it a bit;

- Music + Stereo + plus good friends and a loyal dog = perfection!

:-)