Losing out

I get it.  BUT, I said I would let him know before day's end.  I did and placed the offer at our agreed price before time ran out.  Why the delay?  I was struggling with a nasty, nasty cold and was communicating at work between appointments.  Stated he would hear by EOD.  Placed the offer that evening.  He usually responded quickly to messages.  Not this time.  If an offer came in, a courtesy chance to match or better it would have been nice.  Didn't happen.  That simple action could/should have been done. Plain and simple.  Our convo's involved solid questions and exchanges. I wasn't dicking around.  Finally heard back 14 HOURS  later that someone swooped in.  14 hours and he couldn't send a heads up.  I probably would have matched or bettered the swooper.  But he stated "it wasn't about the money"

  Yes, they aren't your "friend" but I deal daily with clients who aren't friends but at the end of the day I rest peacefully knowing that I treated them all fairly.  Doing the right thing can get you burned on occasion but it NEVER stops me from doing it again.  That's just the way I roll.  "Treat others as you want to be treated".  That slowly helps to make the world a better place. 

Life goes on.

Drpat, I see absolutely NO reason why you needed to wait until the end of the day to make a decision other than to mull over whether or not you wanted to make the deal or not. Why should the seller feel obligated to such uncertainty, on a promise that you will let him know? I wonder how many times a dealer hears that. I am no dealer but I’ve heard it many times, this is not uncommon. There is a difference between promise and commitment and it has nothing to do with being treated fairly. I’m sorry but your analogy to your clients is completely different. You DO have a business relationship with them and therefore an obligation, in this case there is no obligation on either side.

Let’s look at this deal from the seller’s perspective. Yes, you had good communication and yes, you promise that you will let him know one way or another by EOD. But before EOD a solid offer arrives. Should the seller tell the committed buyer at that point to hold on until "I receive word back from a guy that "promised" me he would get back to me by the end of the day. Seriously? This is business and it happens everyday The seller is a businessman and absolutely did not act in bad faith. He just acted in a manner that is probably quite routine to him on a daily basis. I think if your position is "I treat my clients fairly" and by inference the seller did NOT treat you fairly is in itself naive and unreasonable. A commitment will trump a promise with anyone that is in business and used to dealing with a fickle public, particularly audiophiles :), lesson learned should be, don’t hesitate on your first instinct!

You do not mention if the ad had a "buy it now" option or not. It it did, and the other person chose that option, you are out of luck. I agree with others here though. Too many times, I have had an eager potential buyer back out on a promise to buy. The first one to make a firm offer through the system, and have that offer accepted, gets the product. 

You stated that you would notify the seller by the EOD if you were going to purchase it, but you did not state if the seller would commit to hold it for you or give you the right of first refusal.
You Snooze - You lose.