Critical listening or a reason to keep tinkering?

You said, "Thanks to all the information on this forum I think I am getting close to the unobtainable perfection in my listening world."
You are likely showing naivety in this matter due only to inexperience. The levels of improvement are endless, quite literally. There are dozens upon dozens of significant, powerful changes to systems, and they don't stop coming if one wishes to pursue them. Even when one has spent $100K on a rig there are many levels of sound improvement available. The escalator of sound quality reaches a goodly number of upper floors. 

One alternative is to pursue variety rather than chase "The One," as though there is a perfect rig out there. Even cheap alternative components with adjustments to the system can provide a relaxing variety which is tremendously gratifying. It allows changing things but not with severe escalating prices. As a System Builder I love this aspect of the hobby, and it is as valid as Mediaphiles who amass media. But, you can pick your "level" of expenditure to operate within. 

I strongly suggest you make a habit to have agreement with your wife on any changes. If she is uncomfortable with them, do not do them. The marriage is far more important than any system. You can find many pieces of gear to satisfy curiosity at all price points. But broken trust or losing love for unilateral decisions is far too expensive a price to pay for such things. If you keep to a certain price point you can still make changes which likely your wife will hear and appreciate (if she cares beyond protecting the budget or together time). 

Read a book while listening. Distract your analytical side. It works for me. When I do not wish to be critical, I relax and meld listening with other activity. 

Some people simply love to listen to music out of a very inexpensive small system while others get into the expensive system.
Sometimes as you are learning part of the hobby and fun is various types of upgrades and/or tweaks.
Stay within your budget and do lots of research before making a purchase.
Those posts above in this forum make a lot of sense.
Lastly check the internet in your local area for an Audiophile Annomus Group and if you find one please post the website for the rest of us ;-)!

OP-

what gear, including cables/cords, is in your system?

I agree with what @geoffkait says...go and find some other systems to create a contrast to your current rig. It could help to ease the "paranoia" :)

I’ve heard some setups that I thought were great..after several upgrades of my own, I go back and listen to some of those setups and some seem fatiguiging, dull even.

I’ve even heard some systems that on paper should sound terrific but did not please me. Sometimes they were what I thought was too technical and bright. Maybe this does sound great to some but didn’t do it for my ears..I came away with an assurance that I like my sound and the upgrades I have made along the way.

So so many factors to consider. Maybe you have a killer setup but your room or placement needs work.

if I think my setup sounds better, it’s not because it is, it’s just because that’s what does it for me.

Agree with bdp24, more music.