I am really sorry to read about the problems some of you have with your wives. It must be awful.
My wife knew what she was getting into. When we were still dating, I bought an Infinity RS 2.5 system (with the outboard x-over), then a new Nakamichi cassette deck, then I upgraded my tuner to a Mac MR-80. When we were shopping for a house, I nixed several because they wouldn't accommodate my system well.
We've always enjoyed much of the same music, too, so my little audiophile hobby has never really been an issue.