So I switched from XLR cables...

XLR is designed for professional use where cable runs can be very long and a lot of stuff is being connected and disconnected so the locking feature is essential. One of the first decisions I made long ago was to figure out XLR is unnecessary for home use. Beyond unnecessary, it doesn't even sound as good. As you just learned for yourself.

XLR sounds better than RCA  in my system.  If your system isn’t fully balanced XLR may not work for you. 

Hi,
if your equipment is balanced from input to output then XLR will most probably sound better, as it will have less noise and more dynamics. 
XLR connection does not translate to fully balanced design.

Mac 41 pre into new A21 Parasound ... balanced to balanced

im a tweeker so more to come BUT the rca’s smoked the xlr

@captbeaver, have you verified that both the Mac and the Parasound (and your XLR cables) are wired in accordance with AES File 48? That is, Pin 1 is Ground, Pin 2 is Non-Inverted Signal, Pin 3 is Inverted Signal. As Ralph Karsten of Atma-Sphere has stated here dozens of times, it is only when all XLR connections are wired in accordance that you hear the benefits provided by true balanced signal transmission.