Help me understand John Coltrane .... seriously.

I think they are aware of the rhythm and meter but they are allowing themselves to not adhere to traditional rules regarding rhythm and meter.
I can't tell you how many times I've been listening to a jazz group that I was sure was totally lost regarding the form, only to have them suddenly come back together and prove me wrong.

"...I've been listening to a jazz group that I was sure was totally lost regarding the form, only to have them suddenly come back together and prove me wrong."

Are you right about being wrong, or they just could not keep it up all the time and found their form from time to time?

One has to work his way up to Coltrane. Start with maybe Charlie Parker, and once Coltrane had been assimilated, give Ornette Coleman a listen. Wild, baby!

It took me quite a while to “get it” as well. I first stayed with things like Kind of Blue which he accompanied on. Then I went with A Love Supreme, but, it didn’t really speak to me. Then I bought Blue Train. I was also listening to a lot of Wayne Shorter at the time. Slowly it started to click. The quick runs no longer sounded random. Then I found Lush Life. This is a delicious mellow album that is very easy to greet you. I went back to Giant Steps because I started craving more avant garde sounds like Eric Dolphy and Ornette Coleman. I came across a fantastic piece on YouTube that explains the Coltrane Changes musically and mathematically. I highly recommend it. For some reason I can’t post a link here, but, it’s titled The Most Feared Song In Jazz, Explained on YouTube 

This thread has been one of my favorites on AG. Really great, and people sgarung love of music and not going “violent-nerd” on kit. 
I’ve been a jazz head since 7th grade and JC remains a favorite. But my unles, an accomplished and well-regarded bass player, especially swing, hates hard bop. So ymmv. 

Eric, I love these suggestions, particularly those who speak of how music grows on you. I felt the same about Sun Ra as you did with JC i think, and have now come to enjoy SR, though it still depends on mood. 
However, in the classical realm, no one makes my skin crawl like many Benjamin Britten pieces do. 
Thanks for asking the question. Great discussion resulted.