How Do You Live The Audiophile Life

Identify what your goals are be honest with yourself - there are no wrong answers, whats most important to your needs.

Come up with a budget, and work towards sticking to it.

READ, READ, READ and then READ some more. 

It took me a good five years to understand what my goals were. I read a paper on how Humans Process Sound. I used it as a guide to come up with a plan to make sage purchasing decisions, moving me forward towards achieving my goals. 

Before that I was making purchses based on brand recognition, paid for reviews, and bragging rights on the latest and greatest. At best I was making purchases that were lateral moves. They did not propel me towards achieveing my goals. 

Understand that dealers are in the buisness of sales. As a fellow New Yorker who has been to most of the places you are passively referencing - Their objective is to put your money in thier pocket period. 

As you know this is a lifestyle so this will take time. Cold call / e mail brand manufacturers that interest you and ask them questions. Most of them will take the time to explain their vision. Go to trade shows to check stuff out. It gives you a chance to meet and Vet the manufacturers as well. Be prepared to possibly take a day trip here or there to check out their operations if local. 

Most (80%) of my equiptment came from second hand markets. I have been doing this for 30 years and still going, not done yet. I put it into a balanced perspective that allows me to enjoy this HOBBY without putting a strain on my overall life. 

Good Luck Enjoy

If it happens again in the fall, I recommend taking a weekend trip to Capital Audio Fest (conveniently located on the red line of Washington, DC Metro so you do not even need a car). It is a quick and simple trip and it is a fairly large show. Much better than the one in New York City. Nice experience even if you are not in the market for buying something.

I echo what @freediver said about becoming familiar with live music in real spaces. Live acoustic music is priceless for understanding tonality/timbre, smooth vs grainy sound, soundstage, rhythm/pace, other issues you’ll run into in audiophile systems; electric live music is priceless to assess dynamics, dynamic range, and bass.

An equally important piece of the puzzle is you developing your research skills...learning how to amass and triangulate the streams of high end audio reviews (Stereophile, Absolute Sound, HiFi+) and user comments in threads like this. You learn to sift through all this, looking for clues as to how a given audio product sounds.

The only way those clues will make sense is if you understand your own sonic preferences--really know (just one example) that you really appreciate, or really don’t appreciate, lots of detail, "accuracy," and resolution (which some hear as bright, etched, clinical). Or whether you appreciate, or don’t appreciate, the same natural weight in the lower midrange and bass that you will consistently hear in live music.

Early on I learned to snatch knowledge from unexpected places: a recording heard on the radio (which became a trust demo CD); a friend’s audio system (I liked something I heard & checked out what was in the chain); and of course, visits to high end audio stores.

Glupson, you really think Johnny Rotten will move out when he's 17 and someone less obnoxious—like Justin Bieber—will take his place? Thank you for the ray of hope. If I hear "Pretty Vacant" one more time . . .

But I'm not sure. Luke, my son, adopted his Johnny Rotten personna very easily. And, like the kid in the Exorcist, not someone who is going to give up easily.

Speaking of music—Pretty Vacant! Never gets old.

A lot depends on where you live and the dealers there.  Reviews are misleading because it depends upon how much the manufacturer discounted the equipment to the writer.

Audio  shows are helpful.  However, how many years before we have one due to COVID.  Thank you China for not telling the world you had it for 2 1/2 months.