Am I out of my mind? #obsessed

Agreed....for cars nothing beats a high quality carnauba wax if the surface is prepared properly. Aside from the appearance of the finished product that wax offers excellent protection from weather elements. Speakers don't need that. No need to apply a wax to them since it probably won't do anything to hide the blemishes you see.

Don’t dust using anything but air.  Buy a small electric blower that has a high pressure nozzle attachment.  Works great on motorcycles, gun parts, and I’m sure speakers.  Impossible to get swirls since there’s no touching.

I own a black car so does my wife
3M hand glaze is very good and PS21 paint cleaner is excellent along with the PS21 carnauba wax  Between the three products they make my piano black sub woofer and my classic Porsche look like new 

If you want to apply a high quality real wax try some ZYMOL carbon wax for dark colors. This wax is not sold at most auto parts places thats the cheap stuff. You will have to order it online and a small size container will set you back $50. This is a paste that you rub on and rub off right away! It will make your piano black speakers glisten like jewels.
I use this on my black Porsche 951 too :-)


Matt M