Any High End Tube Preamps with *gasp tone controls?

Yes. They are actually 96dB. Pretty efficient. It's not the wattage that's the issue. It's the new rebuild of the amp and choice of tubes that have created a tone I really like but it's left me a bit bass shy... bass I had before with other configurations..

Pretty tough making bass with such low wattage. When I was running a low wattage 300B SE, I was using an active crossover and 200 watt/channel subwoofers. Now, I’m using 350 watt/channel into 89dB speakers and quality powered subs really made a difference.

I enjoyed reading about your speakers.  They seem to be a highly desirable vintage speaker.  So, I now understand that you are trying to put together components of the same era.  

I'm just trying to make it sound as good as it can. No real plan regarding vintage. If I had the space, I would be buying the Lamm tube amps. I know those work perfectly. Bass to die for. 3D imaging. Just awesome. They pop up used from time to time but when ever I'm about to pull the trigger, I realize our small loft is just too small for two large chassis.

Does anyone have experience with a good EQ that uses XLR and not only RCA?

Well I don’t know what kind of an equalizer you’re looking for but, FWIW, Schiit has a 6 band equalizer that has both XLR and RCA and 2 channels as well. Pretty ’good’ and relatively inexpensive ($300 +/-). I use one.