Rodney Dangerfield "My doctor wanted to do a thorough exam. He asked for a urine sample, a stool sample and a semen sample. So I left my underwear on the table and went home"
Joan Rivers (Esp. "What becomes a semi-legend most" I don't know what she's doing now)
Eddie Izzard - I saw his routine on the hotelTV during a business trip and laughed myself stupid all alone in the room.