>>how can you audibly discern too much from too little force on anti-skate?<<
Assuming a good tonearm/cartridge match, good alignment, and proper VTF, excessive anti-skating will manifest itself as distortion/noise in the left channel. Conversely, not enough anti-skating causes same problem in right channel.
Assuming a good tonearm/cartridge match, good alignment, and proper VTF, excessive anti-skating will manifest itself as distortion/noise in the left channel. Conversely, not enough anti-skating causes same problem in right channel.