Do Blue Dots applied to LP labels improve sound?

If you think this is bad, look at the site Hifihvn posted. They say they can improve the sound of your system over the phone; it doesn't even have to be turned on. Talk about Spooky Action At A Distance.

Stanwal - We find it saves on house calls. Like the blue dots, the tele tweak operates on the principle of mind-matter interaction. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Best practice is to purchase the Blue Dots- apply them to record label (do this first), then head to the 2nd closest Home Depot and purchase a quart of seafoam green Behr Premium Plus Ultra plaint. Next you need to mask off the already applied Blue Dot with painters tape- careful to mask out a perfect circle, and paint with a generous layer of green. This- if done while listening to music free from any recorded whistling sounds will result in a record with a deeper sense of stage and width increases anywhere from 30% to 45%.

Of course if the Blue dots are closer to ellipses and have the words Blue Note after them, then you probably have a good sounding LP. Particularly if recorded in the late 50's or the sixties in either Hackensack or Englewood Cliffs, NJ.

What do I win?

Robert

What do I win?

More blue dots!!!