Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

OK, to show I'm in the spirit of this whole thing, here is my offering. The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, "Hey! We need to get back!" No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled." A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."

LOL..............................LOL................hehe.........chuckle..............snort.-.LOL. Good one Albert. That will be a tough one to follow, but here goes: Few years back, I got my first Krell amp, the KSA-250 or something. Just got it, got one of the Logan CLS's hooked up (their best speaker ever IMO), and had to get the phone before the other one. Well, my buddy, who couldn't wait to hear it on the stats, decided he'd help out by hooking up the other speaker. Now, he really digs audio, but he has a tough time with electronics. Anyway, he fires it up, and there's no sound on one side. Hmm..... maybe the volume needs to be a little higher? Nope that didn't do it. So he waits for me to check it out. Well, the two spades were touching: dead short, blown fuse. I remark "No problem. Just a fuse. This is a KRELL we're talking about, these things are like brick you-know-whats" as I proudly run to my spare fuse collection that I learned to keep around. Stradling the amp, I fix the speaker connection, insert the new fuse, and bend way over to hit the power switch on the back of the amp. KABOOM. Shrappnel everywhere, including a capacitor projectile with a smoke trail that misses my genitals by about 3 hairs. I leap off the amp, check my manhood, and then look back, to see this 6" smoke ring floating to the ceiling in an ever so peaceful manner. He'll never hear the end of that one.

In my days of retail, a customer came into our audio store with a (then current) tube type receiver that was producing distorted output. The (other) older salesman that I respected so much says to the customer, "No need to send it to repair just yet, let me have a look at it." He then proceeds to unscrew and remove the wooden case and look inside for signs of trouble. Then, suddenly he picks it up, turns it upside down, and a crusty dead moth falls out on to the glass counter top. "There is the problem" he calls out. By this time the customer is looking intently into the inner workings of this receiver and asks, "Is that really it?" My co- worker looks long at him and says, "Yes, of course that is the problem, the engineer has died." By the way, this is a TRUE story, this guy was crazy.

In my younger days, I was playing keyboards and had just acquired a setup that included a huge Sun cabinet with an 18" woofer to handle the lower range of the keyboard, the middle and top being handled by two Cerwin Vega 12" professional monitors(which later were hooked up to an old Dynaco-80 amp and Crown 1 Pre to form an interesting home system)- ahem, so anyways, my car at that time was a red 1967 MGB(this is relevant). I am driving to my first gig with this huge Sun cabinet swallowing up the passenger seat, and I make a turn requiring a downshift. Unfortunately this behemoth cabinet slides over pinning my gearshift and arm. I am trying to muscle this thing off me and move the lever, which makes for an hysterical view for nearby drivers. How I got there without a wreck I still don't know. I guess you could say this was an issue of speaker/arm/transport compatibility. Groan. :)