Audio tip for aging male audiophiles

Frequent viewers on the Audiogon forum have the opportunity to read many, many suggestions on how to improve the sound of their audio systems. As a rule, the suggestions are directed at the general membership. Well, I can't resist starting 2002 with a suggestion for fellow 'philes who are -- how do I put this delicately? -- closing in on their golden years".

One of the best "tweaks" I have found for for improving the sound I hear (as distinct from improving my system) is (trumpet salute...): trimming my ear hair!

If you think that this public suggestion reflects a total lack of good taste, or that references to personal grooming habits are totally inappropriate for such an august forum, please consider: excess ear hair blocks the transmission of high frequencies to the inner ear.

Come on, guys, you all know you've seen gaffers with shrubs sprouting from their ears! If you happen to be an older audiophile with hirsute ears, then try this simple experiment: listen to a recording with good high-frequency content, then trim your ear hair and listen again to the same recording. I'm willing to bet money that you'll quickly hear a difference.

Yes, there's a story behind all this. For Christmas 2000, my wife gave me a "gag" geezer gift: a battery-operated, Conair ear and nose hair trimmer. Initially, I was offended, but when I actually used the trimmer and got rid of the excess ear hair, I noted a distinct improvement in the sound I heard from my audio system. During the past year, the trimmer has become a regular part of "tuning" my personal audio system.

So, a word to my fellow, older audiophiles: lose that ear hair and hear what you've been missing. It may be the best, low-cost "upgrade" you can make to your system at this point in life!